Adjusting to two children has hit me harder than I thought it might. My husband is gone more than he is home. My siblings and mother are in constant trouble surrounded by heartaches and hecticness. My in-laws are experiencing an upcoming marriage and soon-to-be missionary.
I feel like everywhere I go is chaotic and I'm searching for a calm.
I hate when my husband is gone.
I hate that I am struggling juggling two children and I want it to be easier than it is.
I worry about my siblings and mom, and want them to find a relationship that lasts. For all three of them.
I worry about finances, medical bills, student loans, and working part-time instead of full-time.
I hate cleaning my house, yet I want my house cleaned always.
And sometimes I cry over chipped nail polish.
I feel a bit like I'm drowning. And then I worry that I'm not adequate enough to keep up.
Maybe just a rough patch. Maybe a lot of stress. Maybe a bit of postpartum blues. But whatever the case, I hope of gets fixed ASAP.
