Crash. Bang. Boom.

Today I was driving home from school thinking "What should I blog about today?"
...because I think about these things when I drive.

and then all the sudden, BAM.
Semi tipped over on the side of the road.

I didn't witness it, but I'm pretty sure I was close to when the accident happened.
Cops and ambulance and firetrucks were all arriving on scene.

HUGE semi on its side.
Wicked scary.

And then I thought, as a nurse I am obligated to stop at the scene of an accident and help.  How intimidating is that?  What if their face is blown off or they are suffering from compartment syndrome or missing a limb? Am I going to know what to do?  What if I don't?  What if I all the sudden panic under the circumstances?

Ohhh dear.  

If all else false, at least I can direct traffic 
around the accident until the EMT shows up.  Right?  Right.

Halloween Ho-down.

Caden and I are throwing a halloween party.  Mostly because I  L O V E halloween.  And mostly because I wanted to dress up but had nowhere to go.

We invited about 60 people, thinking maybe 20 would come.
Now that it's getting closer to the party time, I'm getting "yes" responses from 59 of the people we invited.   Ohhh dear.  I definitely did not prepare for this.

So, I've been on pinterest finding ideas and spooky things to try.    I've been brainstorming for costume ideas and just planning bits and pieces here and there.  

And then, the most frightening thing happened.   My mom informed me that Halloween is on Monday.  M O N D A Y.   Here I am thinking I have all the time in the world to plan the most wicked, spooky, awesome halloween party ever, when in reality, I only have 6 days.  And 4 of those 6 days will be spent working and/or at clinical.    

Holy Halloween Godess, please grant me patience and a sense of creativity to pull this sucker off.

I'm slightly worried.

Dye or Kidney Diseases.

Why study at home when you can be dye your hair pink?
Seriously.

This is WAY more fun.

Positive.

Today I'm super grateful for my positivity.
Nursing school makes you grateful for these kinds of things.

It's easy to complain and moan and groan about the crap they put us through.  It's easy to get caught up in the minor details and to be overwhelmed the information.  It's easy to get angry.  

And sometimes, I do.

But today, I took a deep breathe and thought "I'm not worrying about this any longer."    And now, I don't.   I do what is asked of me and I do it to the extent of passing.   80% is passing and I am proud of my 80.

I've learned to laugh at the crazy things.  Blow them off.   Roll with the punches.  Jump through the hoops.  It's all I can do.   And since I've come to the epiphany, I've done better.  Go figure.

Less stress makes me do better.
Less stress makes me a happier person.
The less stress in my life and the greater I am.

And for that, I'm super grateful.
Happy to be happy.

Online Request.

Interwebs:

Can someone please create a website that has the organization and pictures of pinterest, the chat and email options of an instant messenger, the friendly updates and status updates of facebook, and the journal entries of blogger?   All in ONE place.

Please and Thank You.

Printing. Not Studying. and Naked Girls Dancing.

Goal for the week: blog daily.
That might be a little excessive, but really, I need to blog more.

First, speaking of blogging, I talked to my coworker.   She told me how to print my blog.   That's super exciting news, because I don't feel like I need the past 2 years of my life on my blog any longer.  But, I don't really want to delete it either.   S O L U T I O N.     Exciting.

Second, 44 days until I graduate and I'm counting the days.  It can not possibly come soon enough.   Studying has been the worst lately.  It began as studying daily, and studying ahead of time.  Then, it decreased to studying just a few days before the test,  a chapter at a time.  Then, it came down to cramming the night before the test and studying the most important information.  Now, I'm close to resorting to not studying at all and just rolling with what I absorbed in the 6 hours of lecture.  Next week, it might be as bad as not going to class ever.   And the week after that it might be not even taking the test at all.    Words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.  Heaven knows I need it.

Last, as I blog in the community library, the girl across from me is watching music videos.  She's maybe 7 and she's watching some rapper guy dance around women in swim suits and shaking their thang.   Makes me scared to have children.   Also, makes me realize that I'm turning into an old woman instead of a young hip teenager.

Ohhhh dear.

Catchup. Ketchup. Catsup.

Blogger, I miss you.
I want to blog but I feel so far behind it's overwhelming.

It's insane how happy I am.

I N S A N E.

It's like everything I have ever wanted in my entire life is all happening,
all at once, at this very moment.

I graduate with my LPN in 7 weeks. 
That's no time at all.    
I worry if I'll be ready to be a Nurse.
But thrilled to be working with a degree I've been pursuing.  It's like the effort and time and studying is finally paying off.  Like I'm finally getting my reward.   It's so refreshing.
Although I still have another year, possibly two, of schooling.   It's still nice to finally obtain a degree that is worth something and a degree that qualifies me to do more in my job.  

Caden and I have talked about marriage for months now.  Several months.    But, it's finally coming into reality that I am going to be married within the next year.   I'm starting to obsess about the wedding and being married.   I sit down to study and moments later I'm looking at wedding dresses, wedding colors, and randomly writing names down for a guest list.   It's so distracting.   Yet, so much fun.   I have about 1000 pictures on pinterest of wedding ideas.   Maybe 10,000.  I'm not sure.

Speaking of pinterest.  Holy addicting.

I can't get off this blasted website.

So, here I am.  Stuck somewhere in limbo.   I am so close to graduation. So close to marriage.  So close to buying a house.   So close to my happily ever after.    And I just am waiting patiently for it all to unfold.

Patiently Impatient.

Desert.

My whole life has been like a desert, and I was trapped somewhere in the middle.   I knew that I was looking for water, but I wasn't exactly sure how to find it.  So I just kept walking and walking, hoping I'd stumble across it.   Never giving up and constantly moving forward, because I knew that stalling would cause me to collapse, I just kept walking in hopes of stumbling across some desperately needed water. 

And now, I've reached a point where I know where the water is.  I see it in plain view and, if water had a smell, I can definitely smell it.   It's making my mouth water and it's making me fill with anticipation.

 
But, as much as I want to, I know that I can't run for this water.   I have to patiently walk towards it, hoping not to tire out before I get there.   I know that I can't sprint and I know that I can't hurry.   I have to go slow, pace myself, and in due time, I'll get there. 

 
So, patiently I wait.

And patiently I walk.

...and eventually I'll make it.

 
But man, oh man.  I sure am T H I R S T Y.

Nursing School: Advice.

I've learned some things in school that may or may not be helpful.
Not quite as good as Estelle's Guide to Nursing School, but this is my version.

First and foremost, when someone asks me about Nursing School, my first response is that it's not the material that is hard.  The hard part is time management.  It's not uncommon for an instructor to pile on 56 hours of homework in a 24 hour time frame.  It always seems impossible to accomplish and every single time I think "This time it cannot be done.  This time it's too much asked of me."  But every singe time, I get it finished.

I love to organize and that makes my life much easier and simple.   I have a calendar on the front of my binder that breaks down everything I need to do by the day.   And I look at it EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.   

 Then, I have a white board behind my bedroom door that breaks down my week.   Every Sunday I write on my white board to remind myself what I have to do the week to come.  It's conveniently placed behind my bedroom door so I stare at it as I fall asleep.

Finally, on weeks that are particullary busy, I break down my day be the hour.
Sometimes I have to go as far as to budget time to shower and when I will sleep.  Sometimes it gets that out of control.

Being organized saves me a TON of stress.  I function best when I know what's coming and what's ahead of me.   And I've learned that if I have free time, I am forgetting to do something.  Free time is unheard of in Nursing School.

Studying is a matter of trial and error.  I've tried reading the chapters.  I've tried drawing diagrams.  I've tried studying alone.  I've tried studying with groups.  I've tried cramming.  I've tried breaking it up into 3 hours a day.   I've tried almost everything, and you have to find what works best for you.   I never read.  Reading stresses me out.  While reading I always think "I'm never going to remember all of this information," and so I never do remember.   For some people, reading works.  For me, it's a waste of time.    

My method: I like to study alone for a solid 5 hours.  I read my notes and try to come up with silly ways to remember.    Then, I meet with a group and I review the things I've learned.   Group study does wonders for me.  It's a way to learn things from a different perspective and it's a nice support system to have friends who know what you're experiencing.  Two shouts for group study.  HOORAY.

Test day morning I like to wake up early and take my time getting ready.  I have found I do best on a test when I feel pretty.  Sounds ridiculous, but true.  If my hair is done, my makeup is on and I smell like roses, I usually do well.  I like to take my time in the mornings so I don't feel rushed and add added stress in my life.   And, as we all know, I eat a balanced breakfast ahead of time.  I say a small prayer right before I hit "begin test" and I pray for strength and confidence.  Helps having God on your side, eh?

Class time is important, and I still struggle with this idea.   When I'm in class, I need to remember to be IN CLASS.   No Angry Birds, no Tetris, no Facebook.   Focus.  Listen to what the instructor is saying.  Take notes.  Come up with cheesy ways to remember things.   i.e. Sodium is in the cell. Potassium is out of the cell.   Saying: "SO I'm in.  K+ I'm out."   Helps me remember.    Listen to the comments your instructor makes.  Usually he/she will hint important topics like saying it three or four times.   That's probably important.  Write it down.

Make friends with your classmates.  This is no longer a competition.  We are all in this together.   Encourage each other.  Lean on each other.  Talk to each other.   These are the only people in your life who know E X A C T L Y what you're going through.   They are experiencing the same things you are.  And, you are going to spend more time with these people then you are with your family and friends.   Two years with these folks, get to know them.  Plus, our class has grown accustom to sharing notes and sharing links and sharing diagrams they've created.  We like to share ways to study and it's so helpful.

Speaking of sharing links, FlashCardExchange is incredible.  I love flashcards and this website has made it easy for my class to break up the material and share notecards.  You make some flashcards on this topic, I'll make some flashcards on that topic and then we will share notes.   Saves time and super efficient.

Take time for yourself.  I know it feels impossible.  There are only 24 hours in a day and 23 of it are spent preparing to study, studying, or learning the material to study.   But, the last 1 hour of the day should be spent doing something you enjoy--and sleeping doesn't count.   Force yourself to do something fun and spend some time with something/someone you love.  I try to plan my week so that the weekend is spent with no school involved.  I work Saturday and Sunday, but once I'm off of work, I'm free to relax.  I don't think about school.  I don't look at my homework.  I pretend it doesn't exist.  Just for those two days.    Some people aren't as lucky as me and some people have to work more hours, but even if it's only for an hour, make time for you.

Nursing school is about jumping through hoops.  Your instructor is going to tell you how to dress, how to act, how to talk.  She's going to ban you from nail polish, crazy hair styles, strong perfume and hair dye.  She's not going to allow for texting, laughing during class, or any sort of fun.   Don't argue.  Don't fight back.  Just go with it.   Laugh about it.  It's ridiculous and it's absurd and it doesn't make any sense, but you're not going to win.  She is.  So, why fight it?

Lastly, be proud of your accomplishments.  It's easy to compare yourself to others.   Be proud of the things that YOU have done.  You made it into Nursing School.  You've been accepted.  You're passing the tests.  You haven't been kicked out of the program.  And, you haven't killed a patient yet.  No matter how awful or terrible you may feel, you're better than the 247 applicants who didn't get accepted.   Be proud of that.  and Be PROUD of you.

And remember, in just two years, you get to add two letters to your name.

"Callie Ann, R. N."