32.

March is a good month for me.  It’s my birthday month and I celebrate all month long.  This month was no exception.  I paid someone to clean my house (best idea ever), Caden bought me a massage, I won a Maskcara giveaway worth $60, I celebrated my actual birthday at a LIVE Survivor viewing party with Joe Anglim and Sierra Dawn, and then Caden took me to dinner at my favorite restaurant while our girls stayed home with family.   

I love my birthday.  It’s a time for others to show their love and to celebrate ME in their life, which is really such a sweet thing.   I’m a Words of Affirmation girl, so I soak up every text and card that I receive.   I love it.   Birthdays are also a time for me to reflect on the past year.  Things I’ve accomplished, trials I’ve had, successes that have come my way, and all the blessings that I have.  It’s by far my favorite day of the whole year, and I’m not shy about letting people know that. 

With that being said, 31 was a hard year for me.  I had my baby twins and then 5 days later I turned 31.   The year was spent keeping tiny little humans alive, all day every day was mommy-ing.    I had days that I loved every second, and days I spent laying on my bed in tears.  Some days I was rocking life as the Mom of 4, and other days I was completely overwhelmed by simple tasks.   I changed jobs from a company that I thought I would be at forever, and struggled finding a place in a new company that I loved just as much. It was a roller coaster of emotions.   

I remember feeling so lost in who I was and the things I enjoyed beyond Motherhood and being a Nurse.   I forced myself to make a list of things I enjoyed and hobbies I had, just to remind myself that I was actually a person before a Mom.  My identity was tangled up in the daily grind of little children.  Just as I started finding myself, going to the gym, working off the baby weight, finding confidence in who I was...I got pregnant again.   Cue the emotions.  

31 was a year of babies.  Of pregnancies.  Of twins.  Of mommying harder than I ever have before.   I’m beyond grateful for my sweet children.   For my husband who manages our estrogen so very well.  For my family who support me and help me on the daily with my tiny entourage.   For my friends to lean on when I struggle.   I am beyond blessed for this life I lead.  I think so often about where it could be had I not met Caden, had we decided not to attend Church, had I kept drinking, had I stayed with my previous group of friends.  So many forks in the road that could have lead me down a dark and scary path, and I’m so happy with the path I chose instead.  So happy with how my life has turned out and where I have landed at age 32.   Life is good.   I am stoked to be raising a tiny girl gang with a man that I am madly in love with.   And I could not be more blessed and thankful for all that I have. 

I think 32 is going to be a good year.   It may not be the year that I accomplish goals, or lose weight, or start a new hobby.  It may be another year of mommy-ing and taking care of tiny babies.  And I'm okay with that.   Taking it one day at a time, just trying to survive the day and keep all my little itty-bitties alive and happy.   But, what really could be better than hanging out with 5 tiny little girls who are my very best of friends?  And spending the nights with a man who makes me happy beyond all reason?!  I mean, seriously.  32 is going to be a good year.  I feel it in my bones.   
...my tired, achy bones.

Cheers to 32.

And all the adventures that come with it.