Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in the stresses of life.
Bills. Finances. Jobs. Insurance. Groceries. Chores.
Blah.
Blah.
Blah.
Today I was flustered and upset. I had a miscommunication at work and my insurance still hasn't kicked in. We are having a baby and need insurance, so of course I stressed about it all day long. And still am stressing.
Yet, I came home today and I walked into our apartment with hands full of groceries. Our apartment was warm and toasty and smelled like candles. I had enough money to buy our favorite treats and all the food to fill our tummies. Caden was hard at work at a company we both love and my mom was on the phone, calming me down and supporting me through the decisions of insurance and big kid life.
So, why was I upset? Why do I worry? Why do I get grumpy and forget all the things that are great in my life?
I am way too blessed and I forget that much too often. So this blog is to remind me of that. Not to brag about the blessings I have, but to remind myself that I have so much to be grateful for and I can-not-must-not-never-ever forget that.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Emotional Rampage.
I have so many thoughts today.
Thoughts about church, thoughts about life, thoughts about attitude, thoughts about baby, thoughts about marriage, thoughts on thoughts on thoughts. I don't know where to start or how to end, but here goes a big blurb of emotions.
Yesterday was Sunday. Caden and I went to a class that his Dad was teaching on temple marriages. His Dad is a great speaker and I feel the spirit easily when he speaks. He makes me cry when he talks about his family, he makes me cry when he says family prayer, he makes me cry when he talks about church, etc. As he taught his lesson, I felt the spirit so strong and felt so much love for the gospel. Caden and I talked on the way home about the temple and our feelings about being sealed this May. I told Caden that, even though I don't know much about the temple or how it came to be, I know how it makes me feel currently. I can't explain the apostles and the keys they hold, I can't explain the symbolism or why the temple was built in a certain way. However, I have an overwhelming love for the ability to be sealed to Caden for all of eternity.
About a month ago my family was asking me why I thought I needed to be sealed in the temple. I didn't have a great answer for them. But, I told them this: "The temple sealing may be completely bogus for all I know. However, I can't risk the thought of not being able to have Caden with me in eternity. It doesn't hurt me in anyway to go through a temple sealing and won't change my life in any way except positively. So, why not?" Thankfully, my family has accepted that and accepted me for what I believe. We all come from different backgrounds and have different beliefs on religion and God. Yet, we each can come to agreement to love one another for our differences and support each other in whatever it is we believe. And that, my friends, is the best way to be.
Being pregnant has been a whirlwind of emotions and made me think even more about having an eternal family. This little munchkin is only 11 weeks gestation and already I worry about baby like crazy. I worry about how baby will be treated by his/her friends. I worry about the worldly things that can harm baby. I worry about illnesses, diseases, disorders. I worry about financial issues, what school he/she will go to, what career he/she will choose. I worry about whether or not baby will accept the gospel in his/her life, or any religion for that matter. I worry about worrying and how that affects my pregnancy. I worry about miscarriages, fetal demises, difficult pregnancies, nuchal cord, low Apgar scores, cleft palate, abnormal chromosomes. I worry now that I can't even fathom how much a mother worries once baby is experiencing the real world and how absolutely terrifying that must feel. I have such a new love for my mother and all the incredible things she did to protect me and my sisters. May that gene be passed down to me and my little ones to come.
Being pregnant and graduated has also made me a grumpy little girl. I get bored easily. I've cleaned the house 100 different ways. I've organized and re-organized everything and anything I possibly can. I've washed the sheets, I've cleaned the laundry room, I've organized our storage closet, I've sold things we don't use, I've alphabetized movies, I've sanded our coffee table. I've just about lost my mind and by the time Caden gets home, I'm dying to be out of the house. Luckily, he has been such a great sport about this all. I know I've said this before, but Caden is so good to me. He came home after an 8 hour shift on his feet, and walked with me around the mall just so I could get out of the house. He rubs my back for me at night, he tickles my tummy, he rubs my head. He does anything and everything he can to make me as comfortable as possible, even though I'm a grumpy goose. And with all this grumpiness brings an incredible sense of guilt. I feel horrible when I'm grumpy.
So, I started watching The Secret today. Never heard of it? It's on Netflix. I've seen this movie twice before but I love it's philosophy it teaches. Whatever you think about most, will become. My thoughts about being bored, grumpy, tired and hungry brings about more boredom and sleepiness. Time for an attitude adjustment. Today I showered and got ready, I put on my favorite outfit, I ate my favorite lunch, I downloaded a new book and I'm going to the library to read. No more grumpy. No more emotional. The Secret is out, friends.
I'm off to the library.
Toodles.
Thoughts about church, thoughts about life, thoughts about attitude, thoughts about baby, thoughts about marriage, thoughts on thoughts on thoughts. I don't know where to start or how to end, but here goes a big blurb of emotions.
Yesterday was Sunday. Caden and I went to a class that his Dad was teaching on temple marriages. His Dad is a great speaker and I feel the spirit easily when he speaks. He makes me cry when he talks about his family, he makes me cry when he says family prayer, he makes me cry when he talks about church, etc. As he taught his lesson, I felt the spirit so strong and felt so much love for the gospel. Caden and I talked on the way home about the temple and our feelings about being sealed this May. I told Caden that, even though I don't know much about the temple or how it came to be, I know how it makes me feel currently. I can't explain the apostles and the keys they hold, I can't explain the symbolism or why the temple was built in a certain way. However, I have an overwhelming love for the ability to be sealed to Caden for all of eternity.
About a month ago my family was asking me why I thought I needed to be sealed in the temple. I didn't have a great answer for them. But, I told them this: "The temple sealing may be completely bogus for all I know. However, I can't risk the thought of not being able to have Caden with me in eternity. It doesn't hurt me in anyway to go through a temple sealing and won't change my life in any way except positively. So, why not?" Thankfully, my family has accepted that and accepted me for what I believe. We all come from different backgrounds and have different beliefs on religion and God. Yet, we each can come to agreement to love one another for our differences and support each other in whatever it is we believe. And that, my friends, is the best way to be.
Being pregnant has been a whirlwind of emotions and made me think even more about having an eternal family. This little munchkin is only 11 weeks gestation and already I worry about baby like crazy. I worry about how baby will be treated by his/her friends. I worry about the worldly things that can harm baby. I worry about illnesses, diseases, disorders. I worry about financial issues, what school he/she will go to, what career he/she will choose. I worry about whether or not baby will accept the gospel in his/her life, or any religion for that matter. I worry about worrying and how that affects my pregnancy. I worry about miscarriages, fetal demises, difficult pregnancies, nuchal cord, low Apgar scores, cleft palate, abnormal chromosomes. I worry now that I can't even fathom how much a mother worries once baby is experiencing the real world and how absolutely terrifying that must feel. I have such a new love for my mother and all the incredible things she did to protect me and my sisters. May that gene be passed down to me and my little ones to come.
Being pregnant and graduated has also made me a grumpy little girl. I get bored easily. I've cleaned the house 100 different ways. I've organized and re-organized everything and anything I possibly can. I've washed the sheets, I've cleaned the laundry room, I've organized our storage closet, I've sold things we don't use, I've alphabetized movies, I've sanded our coffee table. I've just about lost my mind and by the time Caden gets home, I'm dying to be out of the house. Luckily, he has been such a great sport about this all. I know I've said this before, but Caden is so good to me. He came home after an 8 hour shift on his feet, and walked with me around the mall just so I could get out of the house. He rubs my back for me at night, he tickles my tummy, he rubs my head. He does anything and everything he can to make me as comfortable as possible, even though I'm a grumpy goose. And with all this grumpiness brings an incredible sense of guilt. I feel horrible when I'm grumpy.
So, I started watching The Secret today. Never heard of it? It's on Netflix. I've seen this movie twice before but I love it's philosophy it teaches. Whatever you think about most, will become. My thoughts about being bored, grumpy, tired and hungry brings about more boredom and sleepiness. Time for an attitude adjustment. Today I showered and got ready, I put on my favorite outfit, I ate my favorite lunch, I downloaded a new book and I'm going to the library to read. No more grumpy. No more emotional. The Secret is out, friends.
I'm off to the library.
Toodles.
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