Following the Leader.

Welcome, It's Just Me.
SO glad we are in this Nursing School business together.
Woot Woo.

Catchup. Castup. Ketchup.

I'm currently wearing ted hose.  Nurse's say it will make my feet not hurt so bad after two 12 hour shifts, back to back.  ...think I just need some new shoes, but I'm attempting this remedy first.

School is cool.  I feel like I'm in CNA school all over again.  I'm learning things that are not even a little bit interesting to me, and I spend a good chunk of class time on facebook.   Definitely not learning.   Can we move on to second semester, please?

My phone has pre-made bookmarks on my internet.  Things like, the news, the weather channel, stocks, and other oober boring things.  So, I changed them to facebook, blogger, and Texts From Last Night.  Much more appropriate.  

ANNNND, last of all.  I found a wonderful tax man.  He got me $1600 back for this year. That's a big fat sigh of relief.   Goodbye to the silly credit card debt, and hello to some new jeans, shoes, and school supplies.   Oh, how I LOVE school supplies.  EEEEEK!

Miss You.

HEY,

Remember when I used to blog?

Yeah, me too.

Stressing. Organizing. and Drugs.

I have three exams and a presentation in two days.
They crammed all that bull shit into TWO days.

So, of course, I'm stressing.
But instead of actually studying, I just ponder how I don't have time to study.  I stew about how overwhelmed I feel.  I make lists on top of lists.  I organize.  I make calendars.  I plan out my day hour to hour.  I spend so much time organizing time to study, that I don't actually get any studying done. 

Anyone else do this?

Am I a crazy person?

....and on top of all the school organizing I'm doing, I'm wanting to clean and organize everything else around me.  My car, the bathroom, my room, my house.   It's like my OCD is ten fold when I'm stressed.  The things that didn't bother me before, like a stack of papers in the computer room, now consume my thoughts.

Uhhh, xanax prescription to share? Anyone?

Notes from Dad.

I have always believed in the spirit world, and always believed if you were in touch with "the other side" they would be able to show themselves more.  It's happened much too often in my family for me not to believe it.

But, it didn't ever really happen to me.

...until recently.

I changed my mind set, I've allowed myself to feel.   I've opened my heart.  I've concentrated on grieving, and since then, I feel like more and more things are happening.

This isn't like the movie Sixth Sense, guys. 
Don't freak out. 
I'm not a crazy person.

I've just felt my dad.  He's in my life and he's making his presence known.

For example: today I was comparing notes with my patient, talking about where we grew up and such.  Turns out he knows my grandpa.  So I feel like that's a pretty neat bond and I go about the rest of the day feeling pretty stellar that my patient knows my family.    A few hours pass and my patient randomly says "Actually, his son Kent was my age."    And my heart skipped a beat.    My dad and my patient grew up together.   This may be a silly little coincidence, but it made me smile and my heart got mushy.    As I'm telling my patient goodbye he says "You know, I see a lot of your Dad in you.  He was a good guy."    That's my dad, he's making his presence known.

Later that same day I went to a high school reunion.  It was graduating classes of all years, and I sat with my mom and her friends.   Her friend randomly leans over to me and say "You look SO much like your dad.  I can see him in you."   

There he is again, making his presence.
Makes me super melty.

Hey dad, it's good to hear from you.

Let's do this again, real soon.

From C's to A's.

I totally nailed my fundamentals test today.

93% is a happy score for me.   Thank the heavens.

It's tiresome though.   I feel like I'm always sleepy.
I sleep in.  I go to bed early.  I take naps. 
Sleep. Always.

But, I'm getting the hang of things.  I'm figuring out the system.  I'm learning.  I'm making friends.  I'm jumping through the hoops.  

...and I'm kinda' digging it.   

Three weeks down, nine to go.

Impact.

I've got some issues from my past.
If you've read my blog long enough, you already know.
These issues involve my dad.

But, I've found a place where I think I can deal with all these issues and finally put them to rest.  I went tonight, just for an intro, and I already feel an incredible lift off my shoulders.  I've found a place where I feel safe and secure, where no one will judge me, and where people can relate.  I found a place where others are hurting too, where others are seeking help.  I feel safe here, and I feel like I can share my story here.

I'm excited about this.
Really, really excited.

I already feel more positive, more driven, more optimistic.   And all I did was listen.   I didn't have to share or do anything that made me uncomfortable.  

I just listened.   

Ohhh, the possibilities when I actually participate.
When I actually share.  When I actually open up.

SO ready to let this go.
SO ready to start fresh.

So ready.

Mom.

I had an assignment to write about someone who inspires me.
Thought I would share, since I think she's so great.    

------------------------------------------------

I grew up with two older siblings, both girls.  Candie and I are ten years apart; Cassie and I are six.  My sisters and I are all extremely close and we do almost everything united.  We grew up strong women, and I blame that completely on my mother.   I always joke that my mother is a super-hero, and I really believe that she is.   My mom was divorced shortly after I was born and raised three young girls solely on her own.   She taught us manners, morals, and right from wrong.  Everything I know about life is because of my mother. 

My mother is loving.  Currently my mom works as a daycare provider out of our home.  She’s been doing this job for ten years, and all ten years she’s done it with a smile.  The children love coming to Pam’s house.  They are welcomed with open arms, hugs and kisses.  She loves each as if they were her own and doesn’t turn any children away.   Her charisma and love is radiating.  The daycare kids sing songs with her, paint with her, help her cook dinner, read books with her and watch Toy Story over and over again.  

My mother is strong.  She always knows what to do or say to help me along the way.  When I feel discouraged or upset, I call my mom and within minutes she has me smiling and feeling like I can conquer the world.  She is full of wisdom, words of advice and great ideas to accomplish any task that seems too hard.  She has taught me to never give up.  She’s taught me that I truly can become anything that I want to be.  She’s helped me through trials, break-ups, education, discouragements and let downs.  She’s been there to celebrate at every homerun, every A+, every new romance and every promotion.   She’s been everything I’ve needed at every point in my life.  

My mother is wise.  Everything I’ve ever learned is because of my mother.  She’s been the one to teach me about boys, how to cook, what to do when I have a fever, how to curl my hair the right way, what to put on a zit, what makes a tummy-ache go away.  She knows the remedy to any sort of pain or discomfort, even if it’s just a back tickle.  She only has one rule in her house and she never lets me forget it; “Boys are dumb.”   She knows how to solve any puzzle, open any jar, find any missing sock, cook any meal and clean any stain.  

My mother is great, in every way possible.  She’s everything I hope to become in a wife, a sister, a grandmother and a mother.   She’s my best friend.  She’s my rock.  She’s everything I’ve ever needed in my life.  She’s been there in everything I’ve ever needed, no matter how big or small the task.  I can’t ever remember a time that my mom has let me down.  Never ever has she let me down.  She’s a rock star, a goddess, a queen, a superhero.   

She’s my mother, 

and I’m so very grateful for that.

New Year's Resolution.

It's amazing how great the library makes me feel.

              [cue music: Kanye West - Amazing]

I get a cup of coffee and a little computer time,
all the sudden I feel like I can conquer the world.

Also, I started a new cool thing.

My New Year's Resolution is to take one picture ever day for a solid year.

It's completely random and has no rhyme or reason, what-so-ever.

But, I really dig it. 

It's on my facebook.

Let's be friends and I can show you.



Credit Cards.

Remember when I raised my credit card limit? 
And everyone warned me not to go crazy?
But, I didn't feel concerned because I never, ever, NEVER have a problem with charging.  And I'm HUGE on budgeting.  I have a super strict budget that I don't ever stray away from.

...until I got this extra money on my credit card.

Confession: I went hog wild, and now I'm mad.

 Naughty, Naughty Callie.

Things on my credit card:
Gas. Movies. Shopping at Wet Seal.  Starbucks.  Wal-Mart.  Forever Young.  Parking Ticket.  Liquor Store.  Halloween Costume.  Zumiez. ATM-Withdrawal. Sisters bar tab.      =    A whopping $880.00.

Holy Crap.

How did that happen?

Don't worry though, loves.
I've got a serious game plan how to get rid of this debt.
It's totally going to be okay.

But until then, I'm having a minor panic attack.
Ugh.

Boarding with Sisters.

Remember how much I love boarding? 

Welp, turns out boarding with your big sisters is even BETTER.

They are naturals.

...must run in the family, or something.

 

This is big sister on her first run.

She already looks like a pro, eh?

 

 

 ...and here is me, after 3 runs and way too much alcohol.

Sure do love my beer.

ALMOST as much as I love boarding.

...almost.

From A's to C's.

I'm a B student.  
Sometimes, on the rare occasion, I'm an A student. 
But never ever have I been a C student.  

After test #1 in Lifespan, I got my test score and I had a breakdown.  

A big fat C.  

I felt like throwing up.  Mostly because the material was on Geriatrics and I felt confident and ready to rock-n-roll.   Geriatrics is a piece of cake for me.   But, that C was a huge reality.   So, I cried.   And I compared my score to my classmates, who all got C's as well.   A C is not okay for me.  Never ever okay.   

So after my melt down, the instructor talks to the class and explains that 80% is stellar.  80% is really great and we should be SUPER happy with that.   Well, I didn't get 80%.  I got a 72%. And even if I did get an 80%, I wouldn't be happy.  I'm a 85% kind of girl, and sometimes even a 95%. 

 

80% is not okay.

Ugh.

Assessing the Situation.

Welcome, new followers.

It's SO great to have you here.

...mostly because you're nursing students, which is obviously all I can talk about lately.   Super annoying, I know.  But glad the newbies can relate.

Speaking of nursing, today I learned how to do a baseline assessment. 

It's like I'm all the sudden a real live nurse.

Eeeek.

I Dare You...

...to finish my header/layout.
Obviously it's not going to get done by me.

Oops.

'member that one time I learned about fetal development, the ovarian cycle, and genetics in Pathophysiology?  Welp, apparently that's important stuff and I should have remembered it.   Because, I've got a fat quiz on it tomorrow and I'm a tiny bit concerned that the material has somehow slipped my memory.

Weekends.

I fetchin' love working the weekends.
Weekends means no boss, no admits, no surgeries.
...and LOTS of discharges.

I get to be the girl who sends people home, walks them out to their car, makes sure they get home safely.  I get to be the last girl they see when they leave the hospital and I get to be the girl who makes sure they leave on a good note.  I get to be the girl to change all the patients minds about any terrible rotten CNA/Nurse they had.  I get to be the one to get them cleaned up for the last day, give them a back rub, tuck them in bed with a warm blanket, and then hours later, I get to be the one to send them good wishes on the way home.

Yep.  I love the weekends.

Getting Organized.

Feel free to stalk me.

I mean, since now you know my whole schedule.

Notice how I always seem to make time for boarding?  

Exam #1.

I feel like I'm getting the hang of this "nursing school" business.  It's super helpful to have found Estelle and all her tips and tricks, seriously a life saver.  I've made friends and I've got a study group together and I'm ready to rock this joint.

Today was test #1, got an 88%.  Hellllls yeah.

Also, we had to do a bed bath on a manicin.  Woman-cin.   

Little bit awkard to talk to a manican that doesn't respond.

But, you know...whatev.

I'm pretty stoked for the upcoming year.
I feel much better about life in general.  'Member my grumpy-goose week/month that I had? Totally over it.  I feel 100% now.  Thank goodness.  That depression crap doesn't work well with me. Definitely not my favorite.

P.S.  I haven't seen Mashed Potatoes and Gravy boy since that night. 
Think he's avoiding my floor?  Yeah, me too. 

Geriatrics.

It's safe to assume that the next 500 posts are going to be about nursing school.  I understand if you decide to delete me from your list of blogs.  Totally okay.   

...also, I may post about The Bachelor from time to time.  Uhhh, can you believe that Brad Wolmack is back? Amazing.  Also amazing that the more he talks about his "commitment/trust issues" the more I realize that I definitely need a counselor.

Nursing school, day three.  We talked about geriatrics.  Ahhh, old people.  This is definitely my nitch in nursing.  It makes me melty.  Talking about them. Learning about them. Hearing stories about them.  I literally feel my heart swell.  I just want to talk to them all, help them all, learn from them all.  And dementia patients are definitely my favorite.  I love the confused and "difficult" patients that no one likes.  They always have been my favorite and always will be my favorite.   Gahh, I love it.  

Hospice nursing, here I come.

Day One.

Guys, I survived my first day.
...and my second.

Nursing school is going to be great.  It's a little different than I'm used to.  I'm all the sudden one of the "younger" students and I'm the minority.  Majority of my classmates are married with children and such.  It's strange.   At any rate, it's going to be stellar.   I made some friends and I'm ready to rock and roll.  

I gotta' tell you, though.  I'm pretty nervous about studying.  How the fetch do you come home and study after 8 hours of class?! Bleh. 

It's all about learning a new routine, I guess.  No longer can I study during the day and no longer can I take an entire day to cram all the material. 

Gah.  Can you sense the anxiety? 
H E L P.

BIG NEWS.

Guys, I'm a little late on this big news. 
And I'm PO'd no one told me, if they already knew.   

Buuuut, Mormon Bachelor Pad finally came clean and told their story.

Ohhh, how I've waited for this day.

Catchup. Catsup. Ketchup.

I feel like I should do some sort of "flashback on 2010" post, since that's obviously the cool thing to do in blog land.  But, I'm not really feeling it.   2010 was the year I finally got over Casper, the year I finally got into Nursing school.   Big big events in my life.   But, I don't feel like talking about it.   So, let's move on.

First, let me tell you that my blog is still not finished.  I started this project feelings super artsy-fartsy, then I got called into work mid-project and now I fear I'll never finish it.  So, a toast to half-done blogs.  Woot woo.

Next, boarding makes me wicked happy beyond words.  The people on the mountain are one of a kind.  No one gives a crap about anything.  It's like woodstock, all over again.  Everyone is about peace, love, and finding good powder.  Cell phones don't work and I'm not even a little bit tempted to try to find service.  It's freeing and exciting and calming and...heaven.   It's definitely my heaven.

Last, I had a deaf patient today.  An entire 8 hours with him so obviously I was forced to break out of my "cold-feet-nervousness" that I get when I see someone sign.   So, I did it.  I signed to him and he signed back, and we had a conversation.   It's surprising how much I remembered.  And it made me wicked happy.   I love sign language.    Ahhh, if only there was a tiny town I could travel to just to speak sign.  


p.s. School starts on Monday.   Eeeeek.