Speaking in Sacrament.

Last month, we were asked to speak in Sacrament.  My first time ever speaking in Sacrament.  I have posted before about church, and how my testimony has grown, so I thought I would share my talk here, too.

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Good morning, brothers and sisters.  Brother Musgrave has asked that we introduce ourselves before we give our talks.   My name is Callie Hall, my cute husband is Caden Hall and our sweet 5 month old daughter is Hazel Hall.  Caden and I moved into the ward in August, when Hazel was just a month old.  We moved from a basement apartment in Ogden into our very first home in Layton.  We live directly next to Bishop Ringler.   The first day that we moved in, Bishop and his wife pulled up as we were unloading boxes.   “Are you our new neighbors?”   Yes.    “Are you LDS?”  Yes.   “Are you active?”  Yes.   “Good! Because I’m your bishop!”   We are blessed to be in this ward.  The ward we came from is what some called “Newlywed, nearly dead” so we are excited about the youth and babies in this ward.

I’m happy to be the one to tell our story, because my husband’s version goes like this.   “We met, we fell in love, we got married.”   My version is slightly more romantic.

Caden and I met in 2011.  We both were working at McKay-Dee hospital at the time.  He worked in room service, and I worked as a CNA.  We saw each other almost every day and would make small talk, both too shy to really start up a conversation.   Each night Caden would bring my patients their dinners and each night I would stare at him and hope he would make eye contact.  Finally, one night, I asked Caden  “Hey, you should sneak me some mashed potatoes and gravy the next time you come to my floor.”   And he actually did it.   Eventually, he got my phone number and we’ve been together ever since.   In my journal, he is known as “mashed potato boy”, we served Mashed Potatoes at our wedding, and we eat them on a daily occurrence in our home.

Caden and I were married in May 2012, we got pregnant with our sweet Hazel 5 months later.  We were then sealed in the Brigham City Temple in May 2013, when I was 7 months pregnant.   We graduated together from Weber State in April 2013, Caden with his Bachelors in Microbiology and me with my Bachelors in Nursing.   Hazel was born in July 2013 and we bought our home in August 2013.   Which brings us to now.  We have been extremely blessed and have the gospel and Christ to thank for all of that.

I’m excited to be speaking today.  I’ve secretly been planning this talk for over a year and half now.  I’ve heard, once you get married you are the next to speak in sacrament.  Somehow, my husband and I have dodged the bullet for about a year and half.   But, I’ve been mentally preparing myself for this very day.  

About a month ago, I received a telephone call on Sunday morning and was asked to say the opening prayer in sacrament.  My reply was “Ohhhh, I don’t think I can.  That sounds way too scary.”   So, I declined and my valiant husband took my place.   Dodged another bullet.   However, I think I’ve run out of hiding places and here I am speaking today on Following the Prophet.

When Caden and I were dating, I wasn’t an active member in the church.  Although I had been baptized, I hadn’t attended church in over fifteen years.  I grew up in a home full of love and acceptance, but lacked any form of religion.   I never knew it to be weird, or strange, just that it was normal.   When I met Caden, and I learned that he was an active member of the church, I immediately assumed he was off limits.  I thought there was no way he would want to date a girl who was not active in the church.  Luckily, to my surprise, Caden accepted me with open arms.  And that is the greatest blessing that has ever happened to me.   

As we began dating, Caden introduced me back into the church.  We started attending sacrament together in a singles ward, with a Bishop who was exactly what my testimony needed.   As things between Caden and I got more and more serious, we began talking about marriage and where things were headed.   The more I thought about our future, the more it became centered around the gospel.  I wanted a family who prayed together, who attended church together and who studied the gospel together.  I wanted my children to be sunbeams and I wanted my husband to hold a calling.   This shocked me, in every way possible.   If you would have told me 5 years ago that I would be sealed in the temple, married to an active LDS member, have a child born into the covenant and hold a calling as a primary teacher, I would have thought you were crazy.

Before we were married, Caden and I set some rules for our marriage.   1.  This marriage was for real and we are in this 110%.   2.  We love each other unconditionally.  3. We follow the prophet.  

This has been such a blessing in our home, and the greatest decision we have made in our marriage.  Its been said time and time again, this world is corrupt and cruel.   And only getting worse.   How blessed we are to have a Prophet who speaks directly with God and can counsel us about the current situation and the things to come. 

Our prophet is a prophet of God.   He is in constant revelation with our God.   How great of a blessing to have direct revelation at all times and to know what God has asked of us.  LDS.org states a prophet is: “A messenger of God… His responsibility is to make known God’s will… He is the preacher of righteousness.” 

About a year ago, Caden and I attended a fireside at Weber State with Alex Boye as the speaker.   Alex is a convert of the church and told a story that touched my heart immensely.   Alex told us about a time he stayed in a hotel room.  He wanted his privacy and didn’t want to be bothered, so he placed the “Do Not Disturb” sign on his door knob.   He left for the day, and when he came back, he was angry that the maid had not cleaned his room.   He called down to the front desk to file a complaint.   The lady at the front desk informed Alex that he had the “Do Not Disturb” sign on his door, so the maid did not enter.   

Alex related this story to the Gospel.  He asked how often do we hang our “Do Not Disturb” sign and hope that someone cleans us up?  How often do we shut out the gospel or the counsel of the Prophet, but hope that we still feel of the spirit?  

Often times it can be a challenge to follow ALL the counsel of the Lord.  I find myself trying to tweak the words and make them fit into my life.   It can be hard to meet all the demands or follow all the commandments.  I find myself thinking maybe I can have one cup of coffee, if I add some hot chocolate into it.  Or maybe I can watch an R rated movie, if it only has minimal violence.   This is how Satan gets to me, and if it weren’t for the teachings of the Prophet, current and deceased, I might listen.  

Harold B Lee said it best when he said:  There will be times when you will have to choose between the revelation of God and reasoning of men—between the prophet and the professor. The Prophet Joseph Smith, “Whatever God requires is right, no matter what it is, although we may not see the reason thereof until long after the events transpire.”

I don’t always know WHY President Monson counsels on things.  I don’t always know what the reasoning is or HOW it will benefit my life.  However, I can testify that it absolutely WILL.   Before I made a promise to the Lord to follow the prophet, my life seemed so difficult.  I was lacking direction and I wasn’t sure of my future.   I was living day-to-day without any clear visions of where I wanted to be.   As I brought the Gospel into my life and I listened daily to the prompting of the spirit and the prophet, life has been a complete 180.

In a conference talk in 1960, President Romney tells a story.  He said:   “I remember years ago when I was a bishop I had President Heber J. Grant talk to our ward. After the meeting I drove him home … Standing by me, he put his arm over my shoulder and said: ‘My boy, you always keep your eye on the President of the Church and if he ever tells you to do anything, and it is wrong, and you do it, the Lord will bless you for it.’ Then with a twinkle in his eye, he said, ‘But you don’t need to worry. The Lord will never let his mouthpiece lead the people astray.” 

This gives me such piece of mind, to know that our Prophet will never lead us astray.  Life truly is so simple, and we try our hardest to complicate things.   Say your prayers.  Read your scriptures.  Attend church meetings.  And Follow the Prophet.    President Monson will never lead us astray.  He has our hearts in his best interest and he wants only what is best for us and the church of Christ.  

Elder Mark Petersen of the Quorum of the Twelve states: “Not only is our prophet universally loved and revered, but he loves and reveres the Saints and prays for them and labors for them without hesitation and without limit. His kindness is Christlike. He endeavors to do to all as (Christ) himself would be done by.”

How lucky are we to have a living prophet as amazing as President Monson?  And how lucky are we to have previous prophets who have been equally as loving and inspiring?  Conference time is a joyful time in our home.  I look forward to snuggling in our pajamas, getting warm blankets, hot chocolate and listening to the revelation and promptings coming directly from the Lord.

I leave you with my testimony, that I have a great love for President Monson and the prophets before him.  I’m grateful for a God who knows my heart and helps me daily to become better.  I’m blessed to have the Gospel in my home and in our family.   I’m grateful for a husband who has brought the church back into my life and has made me a Mother and an Eternal Companion.   

And I say these things, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

   

Hazel. Jobs. Date Nights.

So, it's been two months since my last post.
Yikes.

I get behind, and then I'm too far behind to blog because it's overwhelming.  So, I avoid it altogether and then I'm months and months behind and then I end up posting a big huge long post about nothing.

Here goes.

This was Hazel when she was three months old.    My mom and I took her to a pumpkin patch and snapped a few pics.  She was adorable and way too cute for words.   I think the lady wanted to give us a free pumpkin, just for how cute she was.   Side note: The picture in the top left corner--Hazel fell over and hit her head on that bucket just moments after I snapped the photo.   Bad, bad mommy.  

This is Hazel at four months.   She was tired and didn't want to smile at all.   So, I got a cute little picture of her crying.  Hazel will be five months in just 5 days, so I'm hoping for a blog post update then.  Fingers crossed.

Hazel has been a joy in our lives.  She is too funny.   She absolutely LOVES her Daddy.  When Caden comes home, or walks into the room, Hazel lights up.  She smiles for others, but no smile compares to the smile she gives her Daddy.  It's adorable.   She's definitely a Daddy's girl, and I secretly wish she loved me more.   Just kidding.    She has learned to stand while leaning against the couch cushions, roll from belly to back, almost crawl while on tummy time, and blow bubbles with her mouth.    Daddy practices tricks with her while I'm at work.  She should be walking and talking in no time.     

This week was her four month check up.   Doctor said "So, is she sleeping through the night?"   No.   "Is she eating solid foods?"   No.   "Is she eating 6-8 ounces?"   No.    Yikes.  I felt like a pretty bad mom when we left that office.   So, this week has been Hazel boot camp.  I am terrible at the self-soothe process.  I've been rocking her until she falls asleep and I've been picking her up every time she cries.  Apparently that's some bad reinforcement.   So, we have been trying to self-soothe at night.  It hasn't been going super great.   Night one, she cried for a solid hour until I gave up and rocked her to sleep.  Oops.   Night two, she cried for 45 minutes until I gave up and rocked her to sleep again.  Oops.   Day three, I layed her down for a nap and she cried for 10 minutes, I went in to check on her and she cried a little longer and then fell asleep.  I'm hoping tonight goes as well as nap time did.  Fingers crossed.

I've racked my brain trying to get Hazel on a "schedule".   I think I've written down 5 different "schedules" for the day.  Wake up at this time, nap at this time, eat at this time, bed at this time, yadda-yadda-yadda.   Well, each day is different and it hasn't worked out super great for us.   Every parenting book I've read states we absolutely need a schedule for baby to be happy.  So, of course, I've been stressing like a mad woman to get her on a schedule.   But, sometimes she's home all day with me.  Sometimes she's with her Daddy/Grandma. Sometimes she's out and about running errands, and she hardly ever wakes up the same time each day.   So, it's stressing me out.   New mom problems.

We started her on solids this week, too.   Solids.  When did she get so big?!  I feel like she's literally growing up right before my eyes.   She's still figuring out how to eat properly, but we are getting the hang of it.   Love this cute little babe.

I've started working full time.   Yep, I did it.  I went full time.   It hasn't been as traumatic as I imagined it to be.  It's only one extra day, and the benefits have really helped our family.  Insurance is cheaper, my checks are bigger, and Caden gets to spend one full day with our little Hazel May as a daughter-Daddy day.   Which, I'm sure she loves.   I'm super grateful to have my mom, mother-in-law and husband watch Hazel while I'm at work.  I can't imagine taking her to a daycare or a stranger's house.  I think that I would quit my job, no joke.  Thank heavens for the awesome people in our lives.     

Caden and I have continued to have date night each week.   Ohhh, how I love date night.   I love being able to drop my "mommy-duties" and be a wife for a night.   Caden is great at making me feel special.  

He constantly is making me laugh and I always tell him that I should write down all the funny things he says.  His humor is my favorite kind and it's rare for me to go a day without laughing at him or the things he does/says.   One night, we were laying in bed and I told him that someone should record our lives because he is so funny.  Without skipping a beat, he looked at me and said "ACTION!" and I laughed and laughed.   Sometimes, we lay in bed and make shadow puppets on the ceiling with our cellphone flashlight.  Sometimes he dances in the kitchen to the beat of his own song.  And always he makes up songs about me and Hazel that are too funny for words.    

When we are bored, we walk around PetCo.  Which, if you know my husband, is really strange. Caden is TERRIFIED of animals, of all kinds.  Although, he loves reptiles and would like some tree frogs of his very own.   So, sometimes we go to PetCo and look at the reptiles.   This particular day, the worker was checking on the animals and getting them out of their cage.  I LOVE to hold animals.  LOVE LOVE LOVE.  I'll hold any animal, I don't care what it is.   Caden, on the other hand, has never held any animal and he's absolutely certain that animals will eat him.  Including snakes and lizards.   So, the worker man was getting lizards out of their cage and explaining to us that these lizards like to be held.  As he was talking, he reached out and put a lizard on Caden's shoulder.    Caden about pooped his pants.   He screamed a little and the worker said "Oh, you must not like lizards."   

It's things like this that happen on a daily occurrence in the Hall home.   

Sure do love our lives.

Until next time, blogland.

I hope it's sooner, rather than later.

xo

Feeling Grateful.

Today at work I spoke with some co-workers and their thoughts on working and being a mommy.   (I'm obviously still dealing with this internal struggle of working vs. staying at home.   It''s driving me mad.)   As we talked, I realized I am not alone in this working-mamma world.   In fact, I'm actually one of the lucky few who can work part-time and still be home with Hazel.   And even more lucky that working part-time means only two days a week.  Some mamma's work 5-6 days a week, and I complain about 2.   Yikes.  

Sometimes I forget to count my blessings.  

As we talked on our lunch break, I realized how much I compare myself to others.  I'm pretty guilty of this and I also am extremely guilty of searching for the next goal or milestone and forgetting to be proud of the now.   For example, Caden and I are both graduated, who both have careers in the fields we would like to pursue for the rest of our working lives, we have a home that we own, a beautiful and healthy baby girl, and two cars that are cute and run well.   Yet, I forget those things.   I forget to be proud of how far we have come and how much we have accomplished and, instead, I wonder why we aren't putting more into savings, or why we aren't going on vacations, or why we can't afford the things that Joe Shmoe can.     

Again, sometimes I forget to count my blessings.

I am extremely fortunate for the things that I have. E X T R E M E L Y fortunate.   When I take a step back, away from the stresses and hussle-bussle of every day life, I look into my life from the outside world and can't believe that it's mine.   I can't comprehend all that is happening or that I truly have met and exceeded most of my lifelong dreams.   1.  Marry someone who makes me laugh every day and completes me.   2. Graduate with my Bachelors Degree in Nursing.   3.  Own a home that I love in a great neighborhood.  4. Raise a family of healthy children with my husband.    

What more could I ask for?

This blog isn't to brag, or to boast at how great my life is.  This blog is to remind me that I am a lucky girl.  And when I have hard days and I start to feel down on myself, I can come back to this blog and I can remember that life really is great.  

In fact, life is perfect.

Wife. Mom. Nurse.

Well, after my last post, I've made a decision.  I'm staying part time.   All the support and comments I received was super helpful.  You were all right.   How on earth can I stay away from this cute face?! 

Being a mom is more than I ever thought it could be. I've heard before that it is the most important calling, and I couldn't agree more.  There isn't anything more I want to do than hold Hazel in her rocking chair by the window.  I literally could do it all day long.   

Before I was pregnant, I thought I could never be a stay-at-home mom.  I thought it would be boring and same-old-thing.  

Uhhhh, I was very wrong. 

Nothing makes me happier than being home with Hazel and Caden.  When I am away from either of them, I think about them at least every 5 minutes, no exaggeration.   I cry when I leave for work and I smother her to pieces once I come home. 

I feel incredibly blessed to be a mother.  I feel incredibly blessed to be a wife.  I love everything about providing for a family and taking care of a home. I love being here for my family and I love making sure both of their needs are fully met.

I am first a wife, second a mother, and last a nurse.   And that's exactly the order I prefer.  

LGBT: being accepted.

I just finished watching America's Got Talent and Brandon just sang a beautiful song.  He said he turned to music because he felt alone.  He is gay and his family didn't accept him, music was his only escape.  

This breaks my heart. 

I pray that one day there will be 100% acceptance for the LGBT community.  To me, there is nothing wrong with a person loving another person. 

I know so many incredible, accepting, loving couples who are gay.  They are such beautiful people and want nothing more than to be accepted and to love their partner publicly without the ridicule of the public. 

I remember being out with my sister and her girlfriend.  We were on a double date.  As I held my dates hand, I looked at my sister who sat far from her girlfriend and didn't touch her the entire night.  I looked at Cassie and said "why aren't you holding hands?!"  She responded with a broken expression, "we can't." 

I pray always that she will be accepted.  I pray that the entire LGBT community will never be ashamed to show their love for their partner.  I pray they will never be turned away from a job, from a group of friends, or from their own families. 

The day will come. 

 

...And I will be there smiling with a heart so proud. 

Mom vs Nurse, pt 2.

As new home owners, budgeting has been tight.   Water, gas, electricity, fixing doors, spackle, new sprinklers....yadda, yadda, yadda. Before you know it, your whole paycheck is spent the same day it's deposited.  

Yikes. 

As a new mom, I never want to leave Caden or Hazel.  I want to be home all day with them and I want to do things like go to the water park, go swimming, go for a bike ride, read books and cuddle.   I cry everytime I go to work and I cry almost everytime Caden goes to work.   Separation anxiety, at its finest.  

So, now this dilemma.   Do I a) work full-time instead of part-time so we have a little wiggle room for things we want and extra luxuries OR b) stay at home and only work part-time but get to be with my Hazy May and Hubby and watch them both grow and be cute? 

I hate this decision.

On the Upside.

Today was a better day.  I must have woke up on the right side of the bed, as opposed to yesterday.  Yikes. 

Once in a while I get overwhelmed with my thoughts and silly tasks at hand.  I start to dwell on things I want done right now and most of the time it's a long term goal that can't be fixed instantly.  (Losing weight, growing out my hair, fixing up our new house, etc.).  It just eats at me and bugs me to the point where I have to have a melt down before I can feel better. 

Yesterday was my melt down. 

And, today I'm feeling better.  Of course, those things are still on my mind and still bothering me, but I have moved them to the back burner until I'm ready for them. 

I have to remember to take things day by day, and to not look at the whole picture, but rather what I can accomplish today.  

Some days will be hard, others will be easy. But, I'm taking baby steps to get there.  

Grumpy Goose.

Today was a hard day for me.   Not because I had anything particularly difficult to deal with, but it just felt hard. 

I may be experiencing a case of the baby-blues, and the "poor me".   If you need to stop reading now, I understand. 

I woke up to a day where I hated all of my clothes.  Nothing fits my "luscious" post-partum body, my hair is the awkward "between stages", my eyelashes feel like they will never grow again and my eyebrows never stop growing.    

I've never had to worry about dieting or exercise and the thought of it makes me want to cry. But, I think the time has come that I really give it a go.  

Ugh. 

This feeling better pass, and quickly.  I hate all this negativity.   

Check back for updates.

And check for a smile. 

I've lost mine recently....

Back to Work.

Tomorrow is the day I've been dreading for the past ten months: Going back to work after 6 weeks of maternity leave. 

I've been trying to prepare myself mentally, but how can you prepare for such an event? Today we spent the whole day lounging on the couch in our pajamas and taking naps.  

That's what I would like to do for the next 18 years, but I guess I better put some use to this new nursing degree.... 

Caden worked tonight, so I had Hazel all to myself. She was such a good girl as I got ready for bed/work.  I made my lunch, packed the diaper bag, cooked dinner, did the laundry, unloaded the dishwasher, showered and blow dried my hair.  And Hazel sat in her bouncer and stared at me the whole time.  She didn't fuss or cry, just sat patiently. 

Then, after I finished, I crawled into bed and picked her up and within 30 seconds she was asleep in my arms.   

Melt my freaking heart. 

She's such a good baby and I HATE leaving her.  Before kids I thought I could never be a stay at home mom.  But, I absolutely see the appeal now.   

Welp, I knew this day was coming.  I just hope I make it through a 12 hour shift without crying.

Here's to hoping....

Coupons.

When Caden is gone, I watch hours and hours of Extreme Couponing on Netflix.  I watch so much of it that I actually think I can be an extreme couponer. 

So, imagine my delight when I got a 15% off coupon to Carter's.  Helllllllo baby clothes.   I went in looking for headbands for Hazel.   I came out with this. 

Yeah, I got headbands.  But, I also got $20 worth of clothes that she doesn't need.   

Turns out I'm not so great at Couponing. I just end up spending MORE money than I would have if I just stayed on my couch.  

Yikes. 

Better Blogger.

In an effort to be a better blogger, I've downloaded an app on my phone.  So, this blog is brought to you via iPhone.  Ahhhh, technology. 

Thoughts on today: I somehow stumbled across Jessi Smiles on Vine and have been stalking her and her Vine boyfriend for the past 54 minutes.  Jessi makes silly 30 second videos and has gone from 8 followers to over a million in just 12 weeks.   

That's some serious technology power.  

 Which is super stellar, but also makes me wonder what life will be like when Hazel grows up.  It's 2013 and a) I hate talking on the phone with a serious passion b) I check my phone AT LEAST every hour to see facebook and Instagram updates and c) I can't go anywhere without my phone, including the bathroom.  It's a little bit embarrassing how addicted I am to technology and I fear Hazel will grow up with 0 social skills as a teen.  

Technology: such a blessing AND a curse.   Welp, I'm off to check Facebook.   

....kidding, kinda.

Babies and Houses.

We finally have internet.  
BIG success.

I feel like there is so much to blog about that I have been avoiding it like the plague, thinking maybe all these events will slow down and/or go away.

No such luck.

But, truthfully that is good news.  That means that big things are happening and life has been exciting, rather than boring and mundane and same-old-same-old.  Just means more blogging/journaling for me.

Miss Hazel May is 6 weeks old today.
S I X weeks.   Where does the time go?   I was trying to remember back to when I had this little gem and it's all a big foggy mess.   Thank goodness for blogging.   It seems like forever and ever ago, and yet at the same time it feels like it was just yesterday.   How can she be growing like a weed and yet I feel like I was just announcing I was pregnant.   Sounds like a twilight episode.

This is my little bundle of joy, and I love her more every single day.   She sleeps like a champion.  She stays up until about 10:30 or 11:00 with me and Caden.   Then, we put her in her bouncer and she sleeps until about 11:00am.   She wakes every 2-3 hours to eat for about 5 minutes and then immediately falls back to sleep.   She never cries, unless she is hungry.    She loves her Daddy and smiles the biggest at him.  She smiles a little for Mom, but only after her belly is full.   She loves to suck on her hands and sleeps with a blanket covering her mouth, just like Mom.    She is just now finding her voice and starting to coo and make noises other than a grunt.  

It's been fun to watch her grow.   And sad, at the same time.   I already miss the early newborn stages, but am excited for every milestone she hits.   I hope to be better and blogging, so I can remember every itty bitty detail.  Here's to hoping.

In other news, Caden and I bought a house the beginning of August.  We seem to be quick buyers, with everything we do.  When we see something, we buy it.   And our house was no different.  We made an appointment with realtor who happened to be a family friend.  He showed us about 5 houses, and the 6th house was the one we fell in love with.  Without hesitation, we went back to his office and placed an offer that very day.   After signing a lot of papers and making several phone calls, we were home owners just six weeks later.   I was very pregnant and we were very tired of paying rent.  So, homeowners was the best option.  

The home is conveniently placed 4 minutes from Caden's parents home and 7 minutes from my Mom's.  Talk about a blessing.   It's got room for 3 children with a big backyard fit for a garden and lots of room to play.  Plus, the nursery is already painted chevron.  S C O R E.    It's absolutely perfect for what we need and I fell head over heels with it the minute we stepped inside.

Here is a shot of how the owners before us had decorated.  Those aren't pictures of my family, in case you are wondering.   Upstairs, middle level and a basement.   Plus, a crawl space that Caden thinks is super neat and I'm terrified to death of.  I'm certain that is where the monsters and pedophiles live.   

So, basically we are just living the dream.    I'm positive there is a big chunk of information and updates that I'm forgetting to blog about.   But, this is obviously the most important things.     

Here is to being a better blogger.

Now that I have internet, there are no more excuses.

xo

Three weeks: Wife vs Mom.

It's been three, almost four, weeks since Miss Hazel was born.   It's insane how fast time has gone, and how much I have already forgotten because my memory is terrible and I didn't blog about it. 

Our lives have been forever changing this last year and a half.  I keep thinking that things are going to get a little settled and then a new life event happens.   

Graduation. Babies. Buying a home.   Next up: grandbabies.   ....kidding.

Adjusting to life with a newborn has been a challenge for me.  I'm still learning how to be a Mom, and a wife, and a nurse, and a daughter all at the same time.   I worry that some part of me is going to get lost in the hustle and bustle, and I desperately try to fill each position simultaneously.   Kind of exhausting. 

One night, as we layed in bed, Caden mentioned he wanted to go see a movie. I told him we couldn't see a movie, we had a baby.   He reminded me that we had LOTS of babysitters and he needed some one on one time with me.  

What a wake up call.  

He was absolutely right.  I was a wife before I was a mother and that role is one that I cherish above all others.   He has definitely earned himself a date with his wife.  Plus a hundred more. 

Caden has been incredibly supportive and kind during my post-partum foolishness.   Most days I'm pretty normal and functional, but occasionally I have days that I cry at the drop of a hat.  I cry because I'm tired, or I cry because Hazel pulled a cute face, or I cry any and everytime Caden holds or bonds with Hazel, or I cry because Hazel is crying.   ....and Caden just holds me and tells me it's okay.   

He has been my rock and my saving grace.   It's no wonder that I married that man.  He truly is my sole mate and he just "gets me".  He's helped me transition from Callie to Mom and reminded me that I'm doing a great job when I'm feeling discouraged or run down.  

Every day is a new adventure and each day Hazel changes more and more.The    miracle of life truly is a miracle.  She has been an incredibly blessing to us, she has strengthened our testimony and brought such a cute, innocent spirit with her. 

Three weeks down, so many, many, many more to go.   Just like Brad Paisley sings: "...And I thought I loved her then."

July 9th and Beyond.

As I watched the nurses clean up Hazel, I kept thinking how incredibly lucky I was.  I had an INCREDIBLE husband who loved my unconditionally and together we made this beautiful baby girl.  

I felt so many emotions and so much love as my family gathered around to see my previous sweet Hazel May. 

The next few days spent in the hospital consisted of nothing but holding Hazel and cuddling Caden.  I couldn't get enough of either of them.  

We spent 48 hours in the hospital and then they sent us home to he parents. Caden was completely calm, cool a d collected. He was ready to be a Daddy and have his baby girl home.  I, on the other hand, was a nervous wreck.  

We made it home safely and had visitors the next few days.  I wanted everyone on the world to come over and to see what an awesome job Caden and I did at making a baby. 

I loved hearing people tell me how pretty she was and constantly asked if she really was pretty or if I had "mommy goggles".  

Now it's been a week and life is more perfect than I could ever imagine.   

Caden is the best dad.  Watching him with her makes me cry every single time. He is an absolute natural.  He tells her stories, he sings her silly songs, he changes her diapers, he baths her every morning while I sleep, he does her laundry and he folds her clothes, and he rocks her to sleep skin-to-skin. 

Seeing the two of them together is more than I can handle and I cry happy tears just thinking about it.  

Hazel is a happy baby. She sleeps great, with our without loud noises.  (She must have gotten use to Caden's loudness while in the womb.)  She is already an expert at breast-feeding and has never had a problem latching on.  She wakes about every 3-4 hours to eat and then sleeps the rest of the day.  She sneezes the most adorable sneezes and she grips on to Caden's finger when he holds her. 

She truly is perfect. 

I miss being pregnant and I miss feeling her cute baby feet inside me.  However, being able to share her with Caden and him being able to hold her and love her is much better than pregnancy. 

I feel so very lucky to have had such an easy pregnancy, labor and post-pregnancy. And I feel so very blessed for such a cute family: me, Caden and Hazel May.

Prayers do get answered and dreams do come true and this is proof.  

Amen.

July 9th: The Delivery.

As we arrived to the hospital, walking in was mortifying.  I was no longer leaking water but actually gushing.  I tried covering my pants with my purse as we walked inside, but it was obviously not covering much. 

As Caden grabbed me a wheelchair a cute lady stopped me. "Did your water break?"  And then she proceeded to tell me how happy she was and asked what we planned to name her. I tried to be polite but all I could think about was how wet my pants were and how embarrassed I felt. 

At 9:30am we arrived to our room, I got hooked up to the monitors and an IV was started.  Our nurse came in to introduce herself and we filled out some paperwork. She told us it was going to be a while before baby was here and we should make ourselves comfortable.  

Our families showed up around noon and I was only dilated to a 2.  We visited, watched some Price is Right and mentioned a hundred more times how excited we were. 

At 11:00am I was hooked up to Pitocin to get things moving quicker.  The contractions intensified, but nothing too painful. I tried "toughing it out" for about 10 minutes until Caden convinced me to get my epidural so I was comfortable.  Best decision ever. 

I was so worried about Caden during the epidural. He is NOT a fan of needles, or of me being in pain.  I feared he would pass out and my anesthesiologist would have to stop what he was doing to help Cade.   Not the case.  Caden was a champ and held my hand the whole time.  The epidural wasn't nearly as bad as I had imagined, and afterwards my labor was a breeze. 

The family started taking bets on when Hazel would make her big debut.  Some thought as early as 7pm, others thought as late as 2am.  I guessed 11:30pm.  Way off. 

At around 4:30 the nurse checked me again. I had progresses in thinning my cervix but was only dilated to a 5.  The nurse thought I would dilate a centimeter an hour and predicted I'd labor another 5 hours.  My mom disagreed. 

My family has awesome baby-making genes. Both my mom and sister had simple deliveries and my mom knew she had passed on those child bearing hips. Boy, was she right.  

Caden left to go to the bathroom and instantly I felt the urge to do the same.  Lots of pressure and big contractions.  My mom panicked and pushed the call light. "You better come check her again," and the nurse came rushing in. 

I had dilated from a 5 to a 10 in less than 10 minutes. The nurse checking me just looked at me and said "are you kidding?!"   Nope.  I'm not.  I'd like to have this baby now.   She's ready. 

She called the doctor who was on his way into a c-section. Because this was my first baby, he thought I would be pushing for quite some time. He told the nurse to do a few practice pushes and he would come in once he finished with his other patient. 

My next contraction the nurse had me do a practice push.   "Push!! 1...2...3...stop!" She stopped me in the middle of my contraction to tell be that Hazel was coming much sooner than expected. 

I'm a good pusher.

She called the doctor back and he rushed right over.  I gave him two big pushes and Hazel was here. 

July 9th: our office visit.

July 9th: Hazels due date.  We had an appointment to see the doctor and I was hoping with all my might that he would induce me and get the ball rolling. 

I was so tired of wondering when I would go into labor, where I would go into labor or if I would go into labor.  I felt like a ticking time bomb and I was so very tired of people asking me when the baby was coming.   

After talking with the doctor, he said it sounded like I would be pregnant for another week and I was showing no signs of labor, besides me contractions two days prior and my extreme efforts of walking and ginger baths. 

Then, the doctor checked my cervix. 

Low and behold, instant gush of water and my water had broke.  Ohhhh, happy day.  

I left the office grinning from ear to ear and gushing water so heavily that my pants were soaked to my knees.  We headed to the hospital and called our families.  Hazel was on her way. 

19 days: Soaking up the Moments.

As the days get closer to Hazel's deliver, people ask me if I'm ready to have this baby.

Yes and No.

Yes, I would love to meet baby Hazel and hold her and squeeze her and finally see what she truly looks like.  Yes, I would love to dress her up in all the fun clothes and to do her hair a thousand different times a day.  

But No, I'm not ready to give up the time I have with her.  Our one on one time is something I will forever treasure and I will miss terribly once she is no longer with my 24 hours a day.   I will miss her tiny little feet and playing chase with them across my tummy.  I will miss her movements all day long and the constant reminder that she is safe and alive inside.  I will miss her baby hiccups that always make me smile.  I will miss the way Caden rubs my belly and how he talks to her and tells her how pretty she is.   

I love being pregnant, and it's bitter sweet for me that it is coming to an end.

No longer is our time husband and wife time.  We now have a baby that requires a good chunk of our time.  Our lives are forever changed.  We are forever parents, for the rest of eternity.  We now have to plan date nights around baby-sitters and plan our work schedules in a way that allows Hazel to be with one of us as much as possible.  

It's a weird transition, from Husband-Wife to Family.   

Of course, I'm thrilled to be a mother and to raise a family.   I've got this overwhelming desire to provide for a family and to do motherly things with my children.  I admire those parents who surround their lives around their children--going to the park, the zoo, the theme parks, the pond, the climbing gym, etc.   I admire those who do crafts with their children and send packed lunch to school with a note attached reminding them how much they are loved. 

That's the kind of mom I am excited to be and that makes giving up pregnancy a little easier. 
...a little.

So, although I only have 19 days left of pregnancy, I'm trying to enjoy these last moments with Hazel inside and I'm trying to soak up all the enjoyments and funny moments about being pregnant.

I'm told that it only gets more and more fun as they grow, so I'm soaking up each step of the way.

Father's Day : mixed emotions.

Mixed emotions on this Fathers Day.   

Fathers Day has usually been a difficult holiday for my family growing up.  Just a giant day to remind us that our Dad isn't here.  It's usually full of tears a heart ache and a lot of difficult emotions.   

Not knowing or remembering my dad makes these emotions even more confusing.   How can I be so sad and miss someone so much who I don't even remember, or really know?  

This year, we have now lost both sets of my Grandpas.   My moms Dad, as well as my Dads Dad.   We are a family without Dads, making Fathers Day a bummer of a holiday.  

And then I turn my frown upside down and I am reminded of my mother, who was a mother AND a father.  Who raised us three girls to be very strong and very independent.   

I'm reminded of my uncles and cousins who have been the "men of the house" when we needed some muscle, or some rough and tough in our lives.  

And, of course, I'm reminded of my incredible husband who is just 23 days away from being a father.   Just that sentence makes my eyes tear with joy. NOTHING makes me happier than raising children with Cade.   He is so very patient and kind, with such a love for anything fun, exciting and child-related.   He has the biggest heart and has been so loving towards me during this entire pregnancy. 

Watching him talk about Hazel and seeing his face beam with pride, the way he holds my tummy while we watch TV, when he talks to Hazel and tells her what a "pretty princess" she is, and when he makes plans for the future to include long boarding with her on his back, taking her to Disneyland to meet the princesses, and picnicking on the lawn while she crawls in the grass. 

Father's Day is no longer something to be sad about, because I have been very very blessed.   Although my Dad and grandparents are not physically here, I have the comfort knowing they are around when I need them.  I have a mother who is an incredible and inspiring woman that I look up to in every way, I have men who, although are not my father, they are great role models to me and my sisters, and I have Caden who has been the best example of what a father and a husband can and should be. 

Cheers to Fathers, of all shapes and sizes.  And thanks for making me remember how blessed and loved I truly am.   ❤

Daddy and Daughter.

 

Pictures like this melt my heart on so many levels.   

I tear up every time I think about Caden raising Hazel and what a good Daddy he is going to be.

As a girl we grew up with a true father in her life, I know how crucial it is to have a strong and respectable man in her life.  The things that Caden will teach Hazel is unlike anything I, or anyone else, can teach her.  

A little girl looks up to her daddy and will forever compare all men she dates to her dad.  ...and Caden is such a perfect example of a man I want Hazel to meet. 

The thought of Caden rocking Hazel to sleep, changing her diaper, and picking out her outfits is such an overwhelming feeling of love and happiness.  I can't even comprehend that much bliss. 

I know I say this way too often, and it's mushy and cliche and silly, but I truly am so grateful for Caden and Hazel.   And any other babies to come.   I am so so blessed and so so happy. 

And this picture just makes me way too excited for my own family photo.  

Creating a Plan

Miss Hazel will be here is less than 1 month.   

Holy smokes. 

It still hasn't sunk in that we are having a baby, or that this movement inside me is going to come out.   It's very bizzare but extremely exciting. 

I think often about laboring and what to expect or how it will go.  I think about who I want to be in the room and who I hope comes to visit after.   It's such a special and very exciting time, how do you choose who to include or not include? And how do you do so without hurting feelings? 

I think about all the advice I'll be getting, from anyone who is anyone.   And how much advice I've already gotten: give her a binky, don't give her a binky, wake her every 4 hours, never wake a sleeping baby, breast-feed, supplement, pump, offer the breast, stay home as long as possible, return to work at 6 weeks, work days, work nights, etc. etc. 

It's all contradicting information and it's all so very overwhelming.  Of course I want to be the best Mom I can, and so I read a lot of websites and ask for advice frequently but it's difficult weeding out the bull crap and choosing a plan that works best for us. 

I'm told that Hazel and us will figure it out together, and Caden and I will come up with a plan that works for our family.   

...I just pray that plan develops quickly.  

4 more weeks and counting.

Xo

Safe in the Womb.

People often ask me if I'm counting down the days until I deliver, or if I'm dying to get this baby out of me.   

Truth is, I prefer her to stay inside up until her due date.   

At least in the womb, I know where she is at all times.  I know who is talking to her, who is being mean to her, who is making her upset.  I know what she is doing, and the crowd she is hanging out with.  

I like her in the womb, free from all the crazy in this world and all that can and may corrupt this innocent little mind of hers.  

Yes, I prefer her to keep baking until July 9th.  And then after that, I'll lock her in a tall tower free from harm. 

....kidding.

Hobbies: don't got 'em.

Caden is big on hobbies.  And when he does something, he does it with all his might.  He researches it, finds the best product, buys every edition possible, researches it some more and gets all his friends invested: Magic the Gathering, long boarding, League of Legends, etc. 

I, however, have zero hobbies. Besides cooking and cleaning the house, my fun is pretty limited.   (I love to cook and clean the house, makes me feel all domestic.)   So, when Caden is gone to work, I feel like a lost pup.   What to do with my free time?!   

I've been a student at WSU for the past 8 years.  My free time consisted of making flash cards and memorizing anything and everything related to the medical field.   Now that chapter of my life is over and I don't know where to pick up with the next.  

I'm hoping baby will entertain my day while Caden is away, but until then, I'm going slightly stir crazy...

35 more days.

This week has been an emotional week for me.  I've come to realize that Miss Hazel is making her big debut in just 5 weeks and, of course I'm excited, but also I'm sad for pregnancy to end. 

I have loved everything about being pregnant.  I love rubbing my tummy, I love feeling her kick, I love watching her grow, I love that she depends only on me for her needs, I love that she is safe inside with nothing to harm or corrupt her, I love that she is always with me in a that I do.   I'm not sure I'm ready for this stage to be over and I want more time with her, just me and Haze.   

It's such a bizzare feeling knowing Caden and I will be parents, and what a change that will be to our routine.  I have been reading parenting books and trying to get advice from anyone and everyone, but how do you truly prepare for this type of event? It's such a big, big change and I pray that we are ready. 

Picturing Caden with Hazel makes me cry every. single. time.   Nothing makes me happier than knowing Caden is the daddy of this baby.  He is the man of her world and will be her first love, her first main squeeze.  He is the one to teach her about respect, and dating, and how to longboard.   He has already been watching YouTube videos to learn how to braid her hair and he's researched how to put together an outfit: shirt, skirt, leggings.   He holds my belly while we drive, while we sleep, and while we watch TV and every time she kicks, he is the proudest most happiest pappa.  He is already such an incredible father and I'm so grateful that we are in this together.  

As much as I love being pregnant, I pray that each step of parenting is just as fun. I'm told that each step gets more fun and I can't imagine having MORE love for Hazel than I already do.   

5 more weeks, a few more pounds, and hours of labor until this little gem is here. Until then, I'll enjoy my 24-7 time with Miss Hazel May.  

Anniversary and My Marriage Tips.

May 11th was our anniversary.   It's so odd to think that an entire year has gone by.  SO SO much has happened in those twelve months and it has been completely and utterly perfect, in every way possible.  Sometimes I feel like my life is a Hallmark movie, way too good to be true.  

I've always heard that the first year of marriage is the hardest.  I've heard if you can make it through the first year of marriage, you can make it through 80 more.   Well, we made it and it wasn't even the least bit hard.  Maybe we are still in the "honeymoon" phase, maybe my love for Caden is way beyond anything realistic, maybe Caden and I make a really great team, or maybe it's a combination of all three.   At any rate, I've decided to make a list of things for me to remember and things to help our marriage get better and better as the years go on.

Date Night: Date night is something I look forward to each week in our marriage.  I love getting dressed up and I love when Caden wears cologne.  It makes me feel special knowing the time he took to plan something fun for us and to do something other than watching television together on the couch.  Plus, it's a chance for us to spend time together one-on-one without technology and interruptions.  It makes me feel special and it makes me feel like we are still "young and lively".  

Get dressed up: Marriage can make a person lazy.  You start to see each other in your worst: morning breath, lions hair, sleepy eyes, etc.   So, I enjoy a lot when we get dressed up for one another.  I love when Caden wears cologne and I love when he takes the time to trim his beard and wear my favorite shirt.   I also love to get dressed up and be told I am pretty.   Even if we have no where to go, I still try to get ready and look presentable for when Caden gets home. 

Kiss and "I love you": We kiss all the time, all day long.   We also tell each other "I love you" about 20+ times a day, no exaggeration.  For some couples, this may seem like way too much and way too overbearing/mushy gooshy.  I, however, love it very much.  I am a girl who needs constant reassuring and constant feedback.  So, it is very helpful for me to hear this daily and multiple times a day.   Caden and I kiss every morning, every night, every time we part each other and every time we reunite.  It's the first thing either of us do when we see each other and it always makes me smile.   Even if we are only gone for a short time, he still kisses me when he comes back and it makes me a very happy wife.

Compliments: I am a big fan of compliments.  I like to hear that I'm pretty or that I smell good.  I also like to give compliments.  I think it does a wonderful thing for a relationship if you are able to build up the person you are with.  Even when I look like death, Caden will always find a way to compliment my awesome morning hair or the way I made the bed.   No matter what I do or how I do it, Caden finds the good in it.   Our temple sealer told Caden: "If Callie burns the meat, you tell her that is the best burnt meat you have ever eaten" and that is exactly what Caden does.   Compliments go a long long way in a marriage.

Say Nice Things: I work with and go to school with a lot of women who dog on their husbands.  ie: How lazy they are, how they never help, how they complain, how they are awful cooks, yadda yadda yadda.   I've never been a big fan of that idea because 1) It's not fun to listen to and 2) it makes me hate their husbands.   So, instead I've decided to only tell people the good things about my husband.   Caden does that same.  I've never once known him to say something mean or hurtful about me behind my back or to my face.  Again, it goes back to building each others confidence.  Big plus in a marriage.

Do Nice Things and Remember What's Important: Caden is really good at this.  He knows how much I love cards and he makes a special effort to get me a card for every holiday.  It's a simple gesture, but I think it's extra cute when he does it.  I know that Caden really loves gummy apples so everytime I go to the store, I bring some home for him.   It's silly and it's not a big gesture, but it's really cute when these little things happen.   Notes on my car, folding the bed sheets down for me, putting in a piece of toast for me when his toast is done toasting, warming up the shower for me, etc.   These little things are big big things to me and I love all of them.

Support Each Other: Even when my ideas seem dumb or irrational, Caden will tell me that he supports me.  We talk about our ideas and our goals together all the time.  We talk about what we want to do and where we want to go with our lives.  And, we support them.   Nothing is more comforting or reassuring than knowing my husband has my back 100% in all that I do.  

Talk About Plans:  Caden is really great at this.  Before he makes plans with his buddies, he will always check with me to see what I am doing.  I have a friend who this is not the case. Her husband is always gone with his buddies and she never knows where he is or when he will be home.  Caden, however, never leaves me out of his plans and he is always putting me first before his friends, which makes me very happy.  He will ask me if we have plans this weekend before he plans a longboarding day with his buddies, that way I know that he won't be home and he won't hurt my feelings by leaving when I had something scheduled.  I don't ever mind when he goes with his buddies, but I appreciate it even more when he lets me know ahead of time.

Go to bed together: This has always been a good rule of thumb for us.  Bed time is a time when we discuss our day and talk about our plans for the next.  We cuddle, we say our prayers and we talk about things that are on our mind.  It's a very personal and intimate time for us, and I think it's important that we do it every single day.  If Caden isn't tired, I stay up with him on the couch and watch TV.  If I have to go to bed early for work, he comes to bed with me and reads his book.   It's so comforting having him there and I really look forward to our bed time together.

Quality Time: When either of us are home, we focus our attention on each other.  If I'm home, Caden puts his video games aways.  If Caden is home, I wait to clean the house or wait to look on pinterest.  Of course, there are exceptions to this rule, but for the most part when we are home together, we are home together.  

This list is every growing and adjusting, as our lives change and adjust.  But for now, these things have worked really well for us.   We have had to accomodate and discuss things with one another and talk about what was important or less important in our marriage.  Sometimes I did things Caden hated, and other times he did things that I didn't like either.   But, after a year of living together I think we have grown to know each other pretty well.  We give and take and we compromise a great deal.   Plus, we both are pretty easy going individuals, which makes a marriage even easier to get along.   

As another year passes, I hope that Caden and I continue to be happy or even happier.   I pray we remember what is important and we never forget what makes the other person happy.  The best marriage I have ever heard is from my high school seminary teacher, Brother Andersen: 

"Do everything you can to make your spouse happy, and he will do everything he can to make you happy.  Then, neither of you have to worry about yourself."   

Cheers to a year,
and hooray for infinity more.

xo

Catsup. Catch up. Ketchup.

These last few months have been eventful, to say the least.  

 

April 26th Caden and I both graduated with our Bachelor's Degrees.   His in Microbiology, mine in nursing.   I know this is super geeky of me to say, but I think I'm going to miss school.  I have been going to that same college since 2005. 

 

Slightly embarrassing to admit.  I just had a difficult time picking a major, and then a difficult time attending classes that I felt were unnecessary.  So, 2006 and 2007 were spent retaking and making up those credits.   Couple thousand dollars down the drown.    

 

However, now that all is said and down and I'm finally done, I feel a slight sense of loss.   I'm one of those folks who love to go to school.  I enjoy learning and I enjoy challenging myself.  I get a great sense of accomplishment when I check things off my "to-do" list.  So, now that that list is complete I find myself wandering in circles wondering what to do with my free time.    Caden, however, couldn't be more thrilled.   He is not one who enjoys school and he is excited about all the free time he has now.   That is until he decides to go back for his pHd.  Mr. Smarty Pants Scientist...

 

May 4th was the day Caden and I got endowed.   For those of you who are not LDS, this is the step just before you are sealed to your spouse.  It's a very spiritual experience and very cleansing/renewing type of feeling.   This is also the first day I was ever in a temple.   I spent a great deal of my life thinking the temple was out of reach for me and that I would never go inside of one.   Nor did I have a desire.  However, after meeting Caden and strengthening my testimony, I wanted nothing more than to be a part of the temple and to attend regularly.   The temple is my kind of an enviroment: peaceful, quiet, clean, organized and spirtual.   It's like the library, times 1000.   It's very surreal and extremely peaceful.  

 

Because my parents and siblings are not active in the church, I asked my Aunt Linda to be my escort through the temple process.   I am forever grateful for having her there with me and for our relationship together.   She has always been the next best thing to my mom.  She has helped raise me since I was a tiny tot and seen me at my worst and best.   To have her stand beside me as I went through the temple with Caden was so comforting and I truly appreciate having her there.

 

May 11th Caden and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary by being sealed for time and all of eternity.  I can't believe an entire year has passed and I can't believe I've been a wife for an entire year.   It has been the most magical and perfect year of my entire life.   I was married, I graudated college, I got pregnant with Hazel, and I got to share all of those experiences with my Caden.  I know I say this a lot, and I know it sounds super cheesy, but Caden makes me so dang happy.  I truly could not have hand picked a better husband for myself.   He has every single quality I look for in a fellow and I can't believe that I get to have him for the rest of eternity.  

 

Being sealed was such beautiful experience.   As I walked into the sealing room with my husband and I saw some of my family and some of my friends, it was so great having their support and their love.   Our sealer shared this advice: 1. Pray together every night.  2.  Thank Heavenly Father for your spouse.  3.  Thank each other sincerely for the hard work and efforts they do.  Lastly, speaking towards Caden, he said "If your wife burns the meat for dinner, tell her it's the best burnt meat you've ever had."   That sentence there explains my husband to a T.  Caden has never been one to put me down, to point out my flaws, to criticize me or to hurt me.  He finds the positive in everything that I do and that saying is exactly what he would say if I really did burn our dinner meat.   ...which may or may not have happened in our marriage a time or two.     I'm just forever grateful for Caden and to be sealed to him.  It was such a beautiful ceremony and so great to see the family and friends there to support us.  

 

It's been such a fun-filled few weeks of festivities.   Life is happening and it's happening fast.  I feel like all the puzzle pieces and goals are moving along so well and everything is fitting perfectly into place. 

 

...and it's one beautiful puzzle indeed.

 

 

Callie Carter Hall

Registered NurseJoint and Spine

Catsup. Catch up. Ketchup.

These last few months have been eventful, to say the least.  

 

April 26th Caden and I both graduated with our Bachelor's Degrees.   His in Microbiology, mine in nursing.   I know this is super geeky of me to say, but I think I'm going to miss school.  I have been going to that same college since 2005. 

 

Slightly embarrassing to admit.  I just had a difficult time picking a major, and then a difficult time attending classes that I felt were unnecessary.  So, 2006 and 2007 were spent retaking and making up those credits.   Couple thousand dollars down the drown.    

 

However, now that all is said and down and I'm finally done, I feel a slight sense of loss.   I'm one of those folks who love to go to school.  I enjoy learning and I enjoy challenging myself.  I get a great sense of accomplishment when I check things off my "to-do" list.  So, now that that list is complete I find myself wandering in circles wondering what to do with my free time.    Caden, however, couldn't be more thrilled.   He is not one who enjoys school and he is excited about all the free time he has now.   That is until he decides to go back for his pHd.  Mr. Smarty Pants Scientist...

 

May 4th was the day Caden and I got endowed.   For those of you who are not LDS, this is the step just before you are sealed to your spouse.  It's a very spiritual experience and very cleansing/renewing type of feeling.   This is also the first day I was ever in a temple.   I spent a great deal of my life thinking the temple was out of reach for me and that I would never go inside of one.   Nor did I have a desire.  However, after meeting Caden and strengthening my testimony, I wanted nothing more than to be a part of the temple and to attend regularly.   The temple is my kind of an enviroment: peaceful, quiet, clean, organized and spirtual.   It's like the library, times 1000.   It's very surreal and extremely peaceful.  

 

Because my parents and siblings are not active in the church, I asked my Aunt Linda to be my escort through the temple process.   I am forever grateful for having her there with me and for our relationship together.   She has always been the next best thing to my mom.  She has helped raise me since I was a tiny tot and seen me at my worst and best.   To have her stand beside me as I went through the temple with Caden was so comforting and I truly appreciate having her there.

 

May 11th Caden and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary by being sealed for time and all of eternity.  I can't believe an entire year has passed and I can't believe I've been a wife for an entire year.   It has been the most magical and perfect year of my entire life.   I was married, I graudated college, I got pregnant with Hazel, and I got to share all of those experiences with my Caden.  I know I say this a lot, and I know it sounds super cheesy, but Caden makes me so dang happy.  I truly could not have hand picked a better husband for myself.   He has every single quality I look for in a fellow and I can't believe that I get to have him for the rest of eternity.  

 

Being sealed was such beautiful experience.   As I walked into the sealing room with my husband and I saw some of my family and some of my friends, it was so great having their support and their love.   Our sealer shared this advice: 1. Pray together every night.  2.  Thank Heavenly Father for your spouse.  3.  Thank each other sincerely for the hard work and efforts they do.  Lastly, speaking towards Caden, he said "If your wife burns the meat for dinner, tell her it's the best burnt meat you've ever had."   That sentence there explains my husband to a T.  Caden has never been one to put me down, to point out my flaws, to criticize me or to hurt me.  He finds the positive in everything that I do and that saying is exactly what he would say if I really did burn our dinner meat.   ...which may or may not have happened in our marriage a time or two.     I'm just forever grateful for Caden and to be sealed to him.  It was such a beautiful ceremony and so great to see the family and friends there to support us.  

 

It's been such a fun-filled few weeks of festivities.   Life is happening and it's happening fast.  I feel like all the puzzle pieces and goals are moving along so well and everything is fitting perfectly into place. 

 

...and it's one beautiful puzzle indeed.

 

 

Callie Carter Hall

Registered NurseJoint and Spine

Mom of the Year.

Having not yet been a parent, it is easy for me to see things and assume "I will never be a parent like that." I have these great ideas about not letting my child have a binki past a certain age, and making sure she is potty trained by a certain age, and having her in a cute outfit with her hair done, and never letting her sit in front of the TV for hours on end, and ensuring she learns how to read and enjoys books, and learns how to share, and eats her vegetables, and tries new things, and is friendly, and, and, and, and...

But, let's get real.

I'm going to become Mom, and I'm going to be tired and I'm going to want her to just be quiet for an extended period of time so I can rest my eyes. So, I'm going to put on Dora the Explorer and give her a bottle full of milk and let her spend the entire day in her pajamas.

Pinterest just makes being a Mom seem like such a blast. Crafts, activities, sewing projects, yummy snacks, home made lunches, etc. It all seems like a walk in the park, but Pinterest doesn't tell you about the Moms who have to work 12-hour shifts on their feet. Or the laundry that is stacked miles high because crafting has become first priority. Or the dust on the shelves that has been sitting for months on end. Or the dishes that get a good rinse but haven't gotten around to the scrub.

I just need a good dose of reality. How do I juggle being Mom of the year + Wife of the century + Nurse of the universe + Callie. How do I be 100% in every department because I'm not sure I can settle for much less than that.

Mormon Message: Wierd Dreams and a Testimony.

Last night I had the most bizarre dream.  
Something to do with singing "Santa is Coming to Town" in the middle of our church sacrament meeting and then having young children come up to ask for my autograph in their scriptures.

Blame it on the pregnancy hormones.  I'm not sure.

Anyway, as I went about my day I thought more about my dream and somehow it inspired me to write about church today.  I promise no singing will be involved.  

I keep waiting for the day that the bishop is going to ask me and Caden to speak in Sacrament meeting.  We have been in that ward for over a year and have still missed that dreaded phone call.  We've been under the radar.   However, almost weekly I think about what I might say if they asked me to speak and how I can narrow my love for the gospel and my conversion story into just a short 20 minute talk.  Seems dang near impossible.  

So much has happened within my life and within my conversion story.  Times of serious anger towards the church, times of disbelief, times of wonder and curiosity, times of absolute love and adoration, times of doubt and uncertainty and times of absolute truth.  One thing is for certain, and that is that my life has been a much easier path having the Gospel and the Lord a part of it.  

Growing up, church was something I did as a recreational event.  I attended with my friends and would go to Young Women's in hopes of learning a new craft, with no real intent in growing spiritually.  I don't remember any real great moments that I "felt the spirit" and I remember my friends being forced to go by their parents and asking me to come along as their entertainment.  

As I got older, several personal events in my life and in my families life lead me to strongly dislike the church.  I became angry with church leaders and church members and couldn't understand why my family was outcast because of things we did, or believe.   I stuck behind my family and developed feelings of rejection and did not want to be a part of something that my family could not be a part of.  I bad mouthed the religion and I said terrible things about those who practiced Mormonism faithfully.  I tried to disprove things and I argued with people who didn't have answers to my tough questions.  The more I tried to disprove the religion, the more angry I felt about it.  

A few years before I met Caden, I developed an attitude similar to Agnostic.  I was still a spiritual person and prayed when I needed comfort.  However, I didn't attend any sort of church and I wasn't sure my beliefs beyond death.  I believed in being a good person and treating others with love and respect, but didn't believe a building on Sunday is where I needed to spend my time.   I spent my time with others who had no real spiritual direction and dated people with the same ideas as me.  

And I felt empty. 

As I grew older and thought about raising children, I wanted them to have a place to learn about God.  I wanted them to experience the innocence of being a child and the love for a Heavenly Father.  I wanted to do things as a family, like night-time prayer and family nights on the town.   All these things resembling an LDS faith.   My heart wanted to be a "Molly-Mormon-Mom" but my wild teenage days were so against it.   I struggled with the idea of being a Mormon back and forth.  I investigated and I read articles by ex-Mormons and their reasoning for leaving the church.  I watched YouTube videos on the religion and I researched heavily the ideas and beliefs of the religion.

And then I met Caden.  I knew Caden had a love for the gospel and I was afraid of that.  I wanted to spend time with him, but was afraid of what he might think of my beliefs.   Not once did Caden push me to come to church, and not once did Caden shove his ideas into my head.  He let me be me and he was him, and that is the best thing that could have happened for my testimony.   As I spent more time with Caden and his family, not only did I see the love in their home but I felt it.  It was a happy place to be and I enjoyed spending my time there.  One Sunday I asked if I could join them for church and I haven't gone back to the old ways since.

I developed a love for the Gospel.  I saw and felt things in a new way.  I thought about raising a family in the Gospel and I thought about marrying a man who had a love for God.  I thought about the goals of a Mormon family and it was something that I craved about anything else.

I don't remember what day or what time or what month, but eventually I was converted.  I wanted nothing more than to be a part of the church.  I met with my bishop and I confessed absolutely everything in my past.  I told him about my party days, dating history, previous feelings about the church, etc.  He didn't ask details and he didn't ask questions.  He let me talk and cry and then he asked my feelings about the church today.  I told him how much it has made my life better, how more clean and pure I feel, how I feel excited about the future and about raising a family, and how excited I am about this new boy in my life.   The bishop cried with me and welcomed me back to church.  

And I haven't looked back since.

It's been a bumpy ride.  I've had serious lows, and I've had extreme highs.  I've gone from close to hate to absolute love for the Gospel.  Of course, I still struggle with things and I continually ask questions to learn.  But, I know that what I am doing is the best thing for me and that is something that I will cherish forever.

Amen.

Turning on a Dirt Road.

The other night we watched home videos at the Hall home.  
As we were driving home, I reminisced on how fast time truly does go and how much can happen in such a short amount of time.  Seeing Caden as a young boy, and then watching him grow up through the years was such a fun thing to see.  And, I had this overwhelming sense of pride when I watched him turn into the person he is today.  

So much has happened in his life, and my life, that could have ended terribly.  So many decisions could have been altered and we both could have ended up in very bad parts of our lives.  

It's like when you are driving down a dirt road and you are lost beyond all means.  You don't have a GPS and you aren't sure which way is home.   You come to a fork in the road and both paths look identical.  You hope for the best and turn your wheel real sharp, hoping the road you took ends up to home.    Of course, both paths have bumps and pot holes, but you keep on trucking with faith that you are going the right way.   Then, magically, you see something familiar and you get a sudden burst of energy knowing that somebody somewhere was looking out for you.   And all the sudden you can breathe easier, you can now turn back on the radio and you can jam to your favorite song knowing that everything is going to be okay.

That's my life.

I was stuck on a gross dirt road with no direction.   I came to a fork and hoped for the best, turning my wheel blindly towards what I hoped would be home.   And I ended up finding Caden and all the sudden I could breathe easy, and I could roll down my windows and let my hair flip in the wind, and I knew that everything was going to be okay.

As I drove home last night, I thought about how much could have changed if I had taken the wrong road.  I thought about how my life might be if I had stayed on that yucky dirt road.  I thought about how my job would be, how my family would be, how my love life might be.  I thought about Hazel and how life would be without having her.   And my heart was full with emotions and gratitude and such joy knowing that somebody somewhere was looking out for me. 

And knowing that I have chosen the right path.

.... and how truly great that feels.

Drive safe, friends.

xo