On the Upside.

Today was a better day.  I must have woke up on the right side of the bed, as opposed to yesterday.  Yikes. 

Once in a while I get overwhelmed with my thoughts and silly tasks at hand.  I start to dwell on things I want done right now and most of the time it's a long term goal that can't be fixed instantly.  (Losing weight, growing out my hair, fixing up our new house, etc.).  It just eats at me and bugs me to the point where I have to have a melt down before I can feel better. 

Yesterday was my melt down. 

And, today I'm feeling better.  Of course, those things are still on my mind and still bothering me, but I have moved them to the back burner until I'm ready for them. 

I have to remember to take things day by day, and to not look at the whole picture, but rather what I can accomplish today.  

Some days will be hard, others will be easy. But, I'm taking baby steps to get there.  

Grumpy Goose.

Today was a hard day for me.   Not because I had anything particularly difficult to deal with, but it just felt hard. 

I may be experiencing a case of the baby-blues, and the "poor me".   If you need to stop reading now, I understand. 

I woke up to a day where I hated all of my clothes.  Nothing fits my "luscious" post-partum body, my hair is the awkward "between stages", my eyelashes feel like they will never grow again and my eyebrows never stop growing.    

I've never had to worry about dieting or exercise and the thought of it makes me want to cry. But, I think the time has come that I really give it a go.  

Ugh. 

This feeling better pass, and quickly.  I hate all this negativity.   

Check back for updates.

And check for a smile. 

I've lost mine recently....

Back to Work.

Tomorrow is the day I've been dreading for the past ten months: Going back to work after 6 weeks of maternity leave. 

I've been trying to prepare myself mentally, but how can you prepare for such an event? Today we spent the whole day lounging on the couch in our pajamas and taking naps.  

That's what I would like to do for the next 18 years, but I guess I better put some use to this new nursing degree.... 

Caden worked tonight, so I had Hazel all to myself. She was such a good girl as I got ready for bed/work.  I made my lunch, packed the diaper bag, cooked dinner, did the laundry, unloaded the dishwasher, showered and blow dried my hair.  And Hazel sat in her bouncer and stared at me the whole time.  She didn't fuss or cry, just sat patiently. 

Then, after I finished, I crawled into bed and picked her up and within 30 seconds she was asleep in my arms.   

Melt my freaking heart. 

She's such a good baby and I HATE leaving her.  Before kids I thought I could never be a stay at home mom.  But, I absolutely see the appeal now.   

Welp, I knew this day was coming.  I just hope I make it through a 12 hour shift without crying.

Here's to hoping....

Coupons.

When Caden is gone, I watch hours and hours of Extreme Couponing on Netflix.  I watch so much of it that I actually think I can be an extreme couponer. 

So, imagine my delight when I got a 15% off coupon to Carter's.  Helllllllo baby clothes.   I went in looking for headbands for Hazel.   I came out with this. 

Yeah, I got headbands.  But, I also got $20 worth of clothes that she doesn't need.   

Turns out I'm not so great at Couponing. I just end up spending MORE money than I would have if I just stayed on my couch.  

Yikes. 

Better Blogger.

In an effort to be a better blogger, I've downloaded an app on my phone.  So, this blog is brought to you via iPhone.  Ahhhh, technology. 

Thoughts on today: I somehow stumbled across Jessi Smiles on Vine and have been stalking her and her Vine boyfriend for the past 54 minutes.  Jessi makes silly 30 second videos and has gone from 8 followers to over a million in just 12 weeks.   

That's some serious technology power.  

 Which is super stellar, but also makes me wonder what life will be like when Hazel grows up.  It's 2013 and a) I hate talking on the phone with a serious passion b) I check my phone AT LEAST every hour to see facebook and Instagram updates and c) I can't go anywhere without my phone, including the bathroom.  It's a little bit embarrassing how addicted I am to technology and I fear Hazel will grow up with 0 social skills as a teen.  

Technology: such a blessing AND a curse.   Welp, I'm off to check Facebook.   

....kidding, kinda.

Babies and Houses.

We finally have internet.  
BIG success.

I feel like there is so much to blog about that I have been avoiding it like the plague, thinking maybe all these events will slow down and/or go away.

No such luck.

But, truthfully that is good news.  That means that big things are happening and life has been exciting, rather than boring and mundane and same-old-same-old.  Just means more blogging/journaling for me.

Miss Hazel May is 6 weeks old today.
S I X weeks.   Where does the time go?   I was trying to remember back to when I had this little gem and it's all a big foggy mess.   Thank goodness for blogging.   It seems like forever and ever ago, and yet at the same time it feels like it was just yesterday.   How can she be growing like a weed and yet I feel like I was just announcing I was pregnant.   Sounds like a twilight episode.

This is my little bundle of joy, and I love her more every single day.   She sleeps like a champion.  She stays up until about 10:30 or 11:00 with me and Caden.   Then, we put her in her bouncer and she sleeps until about 11:00am.   She wakes every 2-3 hours to eat for about 5 minutes and then immediately falls back to sleep.   She never cries, unless she is hungry.    She loves her Daddy and smiles the biggest at him.  She smiles a little for Mom, but only after her belly is full.   She loves to suck on her hands and sleeps with a blanket covering her mouth, just like Mom.    She is just now finding her voice and starting to coo and make noises other than a grunt.  

It's been fun to watch her grow.   And sad, at the same time.   I already miss the early newborn stages, but am excited for every milestone she hits.   I hope to be better and blogging, so I can remember every itty bitty detail.  Here's to hoping.

In other news, Caden and I bought a house the beginning of August.  We seem to be quick buyers, with everything we do.  When we see something, we buy it.   And our house was no different.  We made an appointment with realtor who happened to be a family friend.  He showed us about 5 houses, and the 6th house was the one we fell in love with.  Without hesitation, we went back to his office and placed an offer that very day.   After signing a lot of papers and making several phone calls, we were home owners just six weeks later.   I was very pregnant and we were very tired of paying rent.  So, homeowners was the best option.  

The home is conveniently placed 4 minutes from Caden's parents home and 7 minutes from my Mom's.  Talk about a blessing.   It's got room for 3 children with a big backyard fit for a garden and lots of room to play.  Plus, the nursery is already painted chevron.  S C O R E.    It's absolutely perfect for what we need and I fell head over heels with it the minute we stepped inside.

Here is a shot of how the owners before us had decorated.  Those aren't pictures of my family, in case you are wondering.   Upstairs, middle level and a basement.   Plus, a crawl space that Caden thinks is super neat and I'm terrified to death of.  I'm certain that is where the monsters and pedophiles live.   

So, basically we are just living the dream.    I'm positive there is a big chunk of information and updates that I'm forgetting to blog about.   But, this is obviously the most important things.     

Here is to being a better blogger.

Now that I have internet, there are no more excuses.

xo

Three weeks: Wife vs Mom.

It's been three, almost four, weeks since Miss Hazel was born.   It's insane how fast time has gone, and how much I have already forgotten because my memory is terrible and I didn't blog about it. 

Our lives have been forever changing this last year and a half.  I keep thinking that things are going to get a little settled and then a new life event happens.   

Graduation. Babies. Buying a home.   Next up: grandbabies.   ....kidding.

Adjusting to life with a newborn has been a challenge for me.  I'm still learning how to be a Mom, and a wife, and a nurse, and a daughter all at the same time.   I worry that some part of me is going to get lost in the hustle and bustle, and I desperately try to fill each position simultaneously.   Kind of exhausting. 

One night, as we layed in bed, Caden mentioned he wanted to go see a movie. I told him we couldn't see a movie, we had a baby.   He reminded me that we had LOTS of babysitters and he needed some one on one time with me.  

What a wake up call.  

He was absolutely right.  I was a wife before I was a mother and that role is one that I cherish above all others.   He has definitely earned himself a date with his wife.  Plus a hundred more. 

Caden has been incredibly supportive and kind during my post-partum foolishness.   Most days I'm pretty normal and functional, but occasionally I have days that I cry at the drop of a hat.  I cry because I'm tired, or I cry because Hazel pulled a cute face, or I cry any and everytime Caden holds or bonds with Hazel, or I cry because Hazel is crying.   ....and Caden just holds me and tells me it's okay.   

He has been my rock and my saving grace.   It's no wonder that I married that man.  He truly is my sole mate and he just "gets me".  He's helped me transition from Callie to Mom and reminded me that I'm doing a great job when I'm feeling discouraged or run down.  

Every day is a new adventure and each day Hazel changes more and more.The    miracle of life truly is a miracle.  She has been an incredibly blessing to us, she has strengthened our testimony and brought such a cute, innocent spirit with her. 

Three weeks down, so many, many, many more to go.   Just like Brad Paisley sings: "...And I thought I loved her then."