Break.

Instead of studying for my Patho test,

I decided to buy FOUR pairs of new boots.

Way better idea.

Growing Down, not Up.

Went to visit my cute friend Kalee (Hey, Kalee) in her new apartment.
It's super cute and homey and she lives there all alone.
She gets to do what she wants, say what she wants.
Dress how she wants, listen to what she wants.
No one is there to tell her not to.   
Just her and that's it.
TEMPTING.

I left there feeling oober jealous and wanting my own place real bad.  How cool to tell people "Wanna' come over?  Yeah, I have an extra room you can stay in."  Or whatever big kids say.   It would be so exciting.

But then tonight, after working a crazy day and getting off late, I walked into a warm house with the porch light on.  I walked into my Mom's bedroom and I kissed her goodnight.  I opened a fridge full of food and I took whatever I wanted out of there, for free.  I got on the internet to blog about this epiphany. FREE internet.  And later, I'm going to take a really long and super hot shower that my parents pay for.   Then, I'll crawl into bed next to my puppy, who isn't even mine but my mom shares.  

Life at home is pretty damn good.
I don't think I ever want to leave.
EVER.

Grumpy Goose.

Nothing makes me more grumpy than when someone calls me.
Why call me?  Just text me.

Avoid the small talk.

Avoid the awkward.

..and avoid interrupting the conversations
I'm currently having with 5 other people via text message.

kthanksbye. 

Catch Up. Catsup. Ketchup.

I'm getting real anxious for school.
This semester is over in ten days.
TEN.  

I have ten days to raise my grade 0.1% to bump me from a B+ to an A-.    

I promise this always happens to me.  Always miss it be a sliver.

Not this time, patho.  You're not getting the best of me.

I went into Mountain Ridge today to tell them to put me on the schedule.  Turns out 24 hours a week is definitely not enough for Christmas shopping.  Also, I miss that place WICKED bad.  Just walking into the building makes me happy.  I can't even explain how giddy it makes me.   If it weren't for tuition reimbursement through IHC, I'd go back in a heart beat.

End of December means beginning of January.

Beginning of January means school starts.  Not just normal school, Nursing School.   This means I start working Saturday and Sunday from 5am to 5pm.  I can't even tell you how unhappy 5am makes me.  I'm definitely not a morning person.   Although, I'm super stoked to have a set schedule.  I hate working some nights, some mornings, some twelve hour shifts, some four hour shifts.   Now I know that everyday after 5, I'm free.   [And by free, I mean at Starbucks studying my ass off.]   

Bring it on, 2011.  

I'm ready.

My Saturday.

Being single means you can do whatever you want, whenever you want.   I love this.   No checking in, no making plans around another person.  It's just me.  I decide what I want to do and I love that. 

ie:  Today I went shopping with Mom and then to lunch.   I layed around in my comfies majority of the day and finally finished the Friends series.   Went for a drive up the canyon and then went snowmobiling for the first time ever.

That's a good day, if I do say so myself.

Double the Pleasure, Double the Fun.

Do you people realize how easy it is to raise your credit card limit?    

Holy hannah.  

I had to pay for my books and such, so my mom suggest I put it on a credit card until I got my scholarship money.   I called the bank, talked for 5 minutes, and just like that they doubled my credit card limit.    Scary.

Words of Wisdom.

Story of my life.

I know what I want,
I know what I'm looking for.
I know what I'm working towards.

Second best is not an option.

'tis the Season.

I. Can't. Wait.

Going Friday.

Wanna' come?

I Have an Idea.

How about ONE more person writes a status update about the blizzard,
or sends me a text about how I better drive safe.

kthanksbye.

Social Network - I'm Out.

I deleted facebook again.

Maybe because I need to escape. Maybe because I'm running.
Maybe because I'm scared. Maybe because it's what I need right now.

Yes, it's definitely what I need right now.

Words of Wisdom.

People have scars, in all sorts of unexpected places. 
Like secret road maps of their personal histories. 
Diagrams of all their old wounds. 
Most of our wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. 
But some of them don't. 
Some wounds we carry with us everywhere,
and though the cut's long gone, the pain still lingers. 

Forgiveness is never easy.  Bitterness is easy.  Hatred is easy. 
But forgiveness, that is the tough one. 

Sometimes people say things they don't mean
or do things they can't take back. 
Sometimes we do things we can't take back. 
We are all afraid of something. 
 
What I have done is who I am,
but what I have done is not who I will be.  

-Jordyn Brooks

Change of Routine.

Thursday night I slept about a total of maybe an hour, off and on.  
Woke up at 0400 and went to work at 0500.

Friday night I slept for about 4 hours, but drank a little before bed. 
Woke up at 0400 and went to work at 0500.

This routine has definitely got to stop.
My body is going to throw a fit and retaliate with some sort of sickness.

Scardy Cat.

You know when you're laying in bed, totally comfortable and relaxed, and all the sudden you hear a scary noise so you sit at the edge of your bed with your fingers crossed and praying that nothing bad will happen?

That's my mindset right now.
I was totally comfortable laying in bed, and I felt completely relaxed.  Then, I heard something scary and now I'm at the edge of my bed and I'm praying that nothing bad happens.   I know in reality that I'm safe, but I still have the fear and I'm still saying my prayers that I'll be okay.

Wanna' Know a Secret?

I really dislike the gym.
Ugh.

Nails. Clothes. Hair.

Firstly, let me start by saying, my thumb nail has been ripped completely off.  I no longer have one and it's disgusting.  I don't remember if I blogged about the story or not, but all you need to know is I smushed it in the car door.   At three in the morning.  Awesome.

Second, here is a trick of the trade I would like to share.   Since I live on a CNA budget, and I only work 24 hours a week, I don't have money to shop.  So, when I feel like I have no clothes and that I am wearing the same 4 outfits, I dump all my clothes on the floor and I re-organize my closet.  It's like I just went shopping.  I remember shirts that I had stashed away and I remember how to mix and match again.   Wooo.

Lastly, I'm asking for a haircut and color for Christmas.   Let me know if you'd like to contribute.

kthanksbye.

ps.  When I wrote the title of this post, I realized it's all the things that are "girly" and I promise I didn't plan that.  What a co-ink-a-dink.

30 Questions, continued.

Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.
Day 2: Something you love about yourself.
Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life. +
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.

Remember this list? Yeah, me either. I totally forgot I was doing a 30 day thing. Oops.

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Day 6: Something I hope I never have to do.

I hope I never ever have to compromise school for something else. Whether that something be my Josh, a baby, a death, or my brain falls out. Even in the worst of worst situations, I still hope that I can keep on trucking and I hope that I can graduate. Graduation is what I've worked towards for the past 5 years of my life.

Most girls dream of finding Mr. Right and picture a beautiful house with a white picked fence. My visions always were me in a purple cap and gown, holding a big fat degree in my hands.

School has always been my number one and I hope that I never have to drop that.

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Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living.

Oh man, how can you pick just ONE person? My life has been worth living for so many reasons, so many people, so many residents/patients, so many loves, so many breakups, so many family members, so many people.

I truly have loved every minute of my life. Sure, there were some crappy times. But, the good totally outway the bad. I've got an awesome group of people all around me. Probably the best group. ...and without naming names, because that'd be embarrassing if I forgot someone, I've definitely got some people that have made my life worth living.

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To be continued, blog land.
...and we've learned that these answers don't come on the correct day.

Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like poopy.
Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days.
Day 14: A hero that has let you down.
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without.
Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19: What do you think of religion?
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21: Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before.
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.
Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30: A letter to yourself.

Favor.

Can someone please vaccuum my car and dust my room?
I haven't had time and it's getting a tiny bit out of control.
Kthanksbye.