Looking Back.

I keep a journal that I write in each night the things I did that today.  "Class. Studied at library. Caden made dinner and we snuggled up and watched survivor."  ...or whatever we did. It's nothing fancy.   And I never write about my feelings, just what I did.  

I like to keep a journal because I have a terrible memory.  So, it's fun to look back and say "Oh yeah, we DID go to the zoo that year."  Or whatever.  This journal is different, though, because it's a ten year journal.  So each page is one day, and then each line is a different year.

November 26th

2009

2010

2011

2012

ETC.

So, right now I'm on year 3 of the journal and I can look back what I did last year on this day and the year before.   

As I'm writing last night I'm looking back at what I did last year and the year before and I'm amazed at how far my life has come.  Last year I was studying for a pathophysiology test.  I was hoping to have good grades to get into the nursing program and I spent a good hunk of my life at Starbucks.   The year before, I was dating a silly boy who I know I had nothing in common with.  I didn't have any real direction and I didn't know what it was I was looking for.

And now, I'm happier than I ever have been.  

I'm engaged to the most perfect man for me.  I'm 11 days away from graduating nursing school with my LPN.   I'm getting ready to plan a wedding, look for a house and make all kinds of big-girl decisions.  

I had to take a step backwards and thank God for the way my life has turned out.  It very easily could have taken a terrible path.  I very easily could have ended up with a man who was "okay" and settled for a job other than nursing.  I could have given up when my advisor told me I'd never get into nursing.  I could have lived a very different life and it could have happened with just a few different decisions.  And that blows my mind.

I'm super grateful that things have turned out for the very best.  And I'm super grateful for everything that has happened to get me thus far.  All the heart breaks, rough times, mean things, disappointments.  All the bad decisions, mistakes, mess ups.  All the times I didn't know what to do, how to do it, where to go.  All the times I was confused, torn, upset.  All the times that I struggled. 

And mostly thankful for all the times I succeeded.   All the times God directed me down the correct path.  All the words of advice from family and friends.  All the encouragement.  All the support.  All the love.  

I truly am blessed.
And super super thankful.

Amen.