Bonding over Selfies.

I come from a family who isn't active in the church.  Growing up, our idea of entertainment was drinking wine or playing beer pong.   I went to the bar with my mom and sisters on the weekends and every holiday involved drinking. 

That's still true to this day.   Only, I'm the only one who doesn't drink. I don't go to bars, and I don't like to party.

So, that significantly decreases my social time with my family.  And it's REALLY hard for me.   

I love being with my family and I love to spend time with them.  I don't get invited to the bar, or the parties, or the wild nights because they know that I'm not interested in that anymore.   But, I'm still very interested in being with them.

Just last weekend I saw pictures of the together on Facebook and started crying. 

It's hard having a different lifestyle. 

And I hate feeling left out.   

And I miss that bonding time. 

I feel like I have to pick my beliefs or my family. (I know that's not the case, but that's how my emotions make me feel.) I constantly feel torn, and at a battle with my old lifestyle and my new.   

It's hard.

And it's emotional.

I would never change my family and the lifestyle they've chosen.  It's who they are, and they are wonderful people.   I would also never change the lifestyle I have chose and the decisions I have made because it's made me the happiest I have ever been.  

I just wish I could find a better way to make the two co-exist. 

Because right now, it's harder than it should be.