Monday, January 18, 2016

Bonding over Selfies.

I come from a family who isn't active in the church.  Growing up, our idea of entertainment was drinking wine or playing beer pong.   I went to the bar with my mom and sisters on the weekends and every holiday involved drinking. 

That's still true to this day.   Only, I'm the only one who doesn't drink. I don't go to bars, and I don't like to party.

So, that significantly decreases my social time with my family.  And it's REALLY hard for me.   

I love being with my family and I love to spend time with them.  I don't get invited to the bar, or the parties, or the wild nights because they know that I'm not interested in that anymore.   But, I'm still very interested in being with them.

Just last weekend I saw pictures of the together on Facebook and started crying. 

It's hard having a different lifestyle. 
And I hate feeling left out.   
And I miss that bonding time. 

I feel like I have to pick my beliefs or my family. (I know that's not the case, but that's how my emotions make me feel.) I constantly feel torn, and at a battle with my old lifestyle and my new.   

It's hard.
And it's emotional.

I would never change my family and the lifestyle they've chosen.  It's who they are, and they are wonderful people.   I would also never change the lifestyle I have chose and the decisions I have made because it's made me the happiest I have ever been.  

I just wish I could find a better way to make the two co-exist. 

Because right now, it's harder than it should be. 


2 comments:

Ash. said...

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling left out. On top of not drinking and being a partier, you have a little family as well and that's your priority. Maybe try to put together a gno once a month and do things YOU like to do. You get to decide because you're the one in charge! Be strong Callie. You'll be blessed for doing so.

Unknown said...

They say, family makes the best friends. I have the same problem with someone in our family. I'm working on being a better friend to them by just texting, photo sharing, and having them over for dinner. It's the small things that make up the difference. Start small. Make a new tradition like a movie night or girls day getting nails done. They'll see the effort and want to try more as well. I hope you find something you all can do together consistently. I've have a real hard time with friends lately and I just think it's time to focus on my own family and our extended. Anyway, good luck. Know you're not alone.