Mushy Gooshy at it's best.

Since being engaged, I've gotten a lot of really bizarre questions. 

• "Do you like him?"

• "Are you in love?"

• "Have you been dating for 4 seasons and a road trip?"

• and my most favorite, "Why do you want to get married?"

Yes, I like him.  And I love him.  And we've been dating for four seasons and 3 road trips.  

and I why do I want to get married?  Because, to not be married to Caden seems like the craziest thing my mind could ever conjure up.

I want to marry Caden because he is the very best thing in my entire life.  Greater than any accomplishment or achievement.  Greater than the very best day of my life.  Greater then my most favorite food.  More wonderful than the most perfect day.  Better than the perfect outfit.  Stronger than the love for my own family.   Caden truly is THE. VERY. BEST. THING. IN. MY. LIFE.

Caden is the reason I am active again in the church.  Caden is the reason that I have a testimony or relationship with God at all.  It was through Caden that my testimony grew and it was through Caden that I realized my true potential in life.  Caden inspired me to become better than I have ever been.  He encouraged me to push myself to be better.  And he supported me 100% of the way.

Caden is the one I want to wake up to in the morning, and the person that tells me Good Morning.  It's him that I want to say my prayers with at night and him that I want to study scriptures with.  It's Caden that I want to cook dinner for, to try new recipes with, to sometimes add the wrong ingredients, and to order pizza when cooking seems like too much effort.   

Caden is the person I want to come home to at the end of my day.  He's the one I want to tell about my day, he's the one I want to listen to my stories and to ask me all the important questions and details.  It's Caden that I want vent to when I'm stressed/upset/worried/concerned.   

Caden is who makes me laugh, who tells me funny jokes, who sings to me in the car, who has the most ridiculous dance moves and the most genuine laugh.  It's Caden that can make me smile at all hours of the day, in all situations, in all places.  He can calm all my fears in an instant, even if it's through a text.  He knows exactly what to say to make me feel better and exactly how to say it.  He knows how to inspire me, how to calm me, and how to motivate me.   

Caden is the man to love me.  To make me feel like the prettiest girl in the entire world.  To remind me how much he loves me every single day.  To remember all the cute things to do, all the simple things that make me happy.  He texts me every morning, every night, and all throughout the day.  He kisses me Hello and Goodbye every single time.  He never fails to open my door, to tell me he loves me, or to leave cute notes on my car reminding me how special I am.   

He's perfect.

In every single way.

There isn't one thing about Caden that  I don't love.  He still gives me butterflies.  He still makes me giddy.  He still makes me smile.  and I fall more and more in love with him every single day.   

He's my forever.

He's my husband.

The father of my children.

The grandfather of my grandchildren.

He's my companion.

My love.

My Cadenoma.

And THAT is why I want to get married.

Not just to be married, not just for a husband, 

but to spend forever and all of eternity with Caden.

Weekend, above all other weekends.

Welp, I spent the past few days just smiling.  All day long.  Every day.
Mostly because I'm awesome.  And mostly because Caden spoils me.

Friday night wad double-date night with our married friends, Matt and Cheree.
We got some Costa Vida and played pictionary at home with my mom and neice.
This is the night I learned that A) I'm horrible at drawing motorcycles and B) I love pictionary.

Saturday night we went out with Caden's Dad and brother, Chrstian, to the Jazz game.  GO Jazz.     Never do I watch the game, because I'm an expert at people watching.  Best times of my life watching strangers do weird things.   Also, we got pizza at the pizza factory.  His dad is part owner, or something, and so we got the royal treatment which always makes me feel like a rock star.

Sunday is my most favorite day of the week, always.  Especially this Sunday because Caden had the night off, which means we got to spend the entire day cuddled on the couch watching Boys Meets World and taking naps upon naps.  We had popcorn and Lime Rickeys for dinner and played Settlers of Catan, the most addicting game in the world.  Besides Tetris.

Monday we F I N A L L Y got some snow in Utah.  Hooray.   So Caden and I piled on our snow gear and headed to Snow Basin.  Now, Snow Basin is my least favorite resort because I had one horrible snow day there and refused to like it ever again.  But, Caden charmed me into giving it another chance and it was a real good time.   Plus, how can you not have fun boarding with your fiance?  Seriously.

And Tuesday was my first day playing RN.  Clinicals in my WSU purple scrubs and a name badge that said RN Student.   I'm so close to the end.  I see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Nurse, here I come.  Then I took a two hour nap, an hour long shower, painted my nails and my mom made hamburgers.  Hamburgers.  Mmmmmm.

So now you know, reader, why I smile all the days.

"Alllllll the days" - Sadie Hall.

Morning Attire on AOL.

Today as I was checking my AOL mail, I saw a random video of some baby.  
I didn't click on it, but it made me think how weird it is.

It was a home made video and it was on AOL website.

How weird would it be if your homemade video spread like wild fire and ended up on AOLs homepage?  What if you didn't even know it had spread that fast?  What if no one told you and you just logged in and saw your baby on the home screen.  And what if it was something super embarrassing like, your kitchen was a complete wreck and Mommy is in the background in her robe and slippers with morning breathe.  

That'd be awkward.
Just saying: be careful when you share videos.   Could spread like wild fire and you'd be on my homepage and I'd be staring at your morning attire.  Embarrassing.

Collection of Goodies.

Originally our plan was to live with Caden's parents for a bit after the wedding, until we both graduate and find a plan from there.  

However, recently we have kind of flirted with the idea of getting our own place.  Nothing fancy, just a little one bedroom until we can settle in and find where we want to begin our careers.  Caden might go to graduate school and I might move with him.    ...kidding.  Of course I'll go with him.    As long as it's not too far.  

The idea of our own place gets me way too excited for words.   And makes me realize how real this is all becoming.  No longer is this wedding just a day of dress up.  No longer is this relationship just for fun.  This is a big commitment.  This is a big deal.  BIG deal.

And with having our own place, that means having our own stuff.  And we've already got quite the collection. It's random and it doesn't make sense, but I love it. Because it's O U R S.

Since March 11, 2011 we have obtained: a set of tiny casserole dishes in all kinds of colors, a pink cookie sheet, a home made rolling pin, the movie "Rookie of the Year", a tennis shoe ornament and, of course, a pig ornament.   

Uhhh, random collection.

But O U R S.

Which makes it the best collection E V E R.

Cheers to that.

Climbing.

Well, I've started the RN year.

RN.  Woah. 

Weird.

 

It's a strange feeling, climbing up this mountain of nursing.  Before I was an aide, I thought being an aide was such a big deal.  Such an important job.  And then, once I got there I realized it wasn't too scary or too fancy.   It was just a job, only better.

 

Then, I admired those in nursing school and I thought they were real important and real fancy.  They must be wicked smart and they must have all the answers.  They must have incredible grades and they must work very hard.    And then I got to that point and realized, it wasn't that big of a deal.  It wasn't too scary or too fancy.  I was just a CNA, only better.

 

And then I admired those working as an LPN.  They must be wicked hard workers.  They must have studied so hard during nursing school and they must have all the answers.  They must have gotten incredible grades in order to pass their LPN board exam.  And then I got to that point and realized, it wasn't too scary or too fancy.   I was just a nursing student, only better.

 

In my eyes, as I look at this huge mountain of nursing I think that it's gorgeous.  It's a beautiful mountain and I really want to climb it.  And as I get closer and closer to the mountain, I keep walking towards it.  And as I'm walking and gawking at the mountain, I keep moving forward step by step. And before I know it, I'm at the top of the mountain already.  I'm there.  I've made it.   And I didn't even realize I was climbing.  

 

I'm here.  I'm an LPN.  I'm an RN student.  I'm applying for nursing jobs.  
I'm at the top and I'm looking around and realizing that I've climbed this mountain that I thought was so scary.  The things that I dreaded, the boulders I tried to avoid, the slippery slopes that made me nervous and the hiking I hated were not so bad.  Just taking it one step at at time.  One foot in front of the other.   

 

Keep on, keeping on.

I'm Safe.

Two things, kind of related.  
Tonight I'm super grateful for those who fight to protect me.

• Officers who continually patrol the streets and continually put their lives in danger to protect me and to protect my family.  The shooting that happened in my home town was scary.  I happened to be working that night and the calls into the ER were traumatic.  It is an insanely dangerous job and every time they call for duty, their lives are in danger.  I'm grateful for them.  For the several who were in the accident Wednesday night.  For the several who weren't.  And for my big sister, who is a cop herself.
  
  
  Thank you for keeping me safe.

• And tonight I'm grateful for the Lord.  He always knows where I need to be and when I need to be there.  When I least expect it and when I'm unsure of what to do, he hands me the answer in a neatly wrapped package and says, "Here you go, Cal."  And all I have to do is listen.   He makes it easy for me, all I have to do is listen.   Listening isn't always simple and it isn't always what I want to do at the time, but it's easy.  And he's continually protecting me and guiding me.  Continually lighting my path and continually showing me that way.  

Thank you for keeping me safe.

WSU. Tongue Tacos. Pig Pets.

I hope to blog more in the new year.
I really miss it.

And in the sake of blogging more, here is a blog.

Today I got called off work.  Such a bitter sweet thing.
Hooray for not working and not having to roll out of bed at 4:30am.
Boo for being super poor already, now subtract another 12 hour shift from that paycheck.

BUT, a day off means a full day with Caden.
Which is always super awesome.

Today we went to WSU.  Oh how I miss that campus.  So many great memories of that place.  Being a super scared freshmen, enrolling in class and without even knowing what a "major" was or why I needed to "declare" one.   And then, here I am, 5 years later and I'm ready to graduate.  Most people graduate in 2 years.  Nope, not me.  It takes me 5 years to get an associate's degree, because for 4 or the 5 years I took classes that I don't even need.  Brings us back to being a freshmen and not knowing what a "major" was.

After our trip to WSU, we went and got $1 mexican tacos from the scariest place on earth. Plus, everyone spoke spanish and I was the only white girl in the place.  And, almost everyone ordered tongue tacos.  Tacos with tongue.  Tongue inside of a taco.   Uhhh, gross.   I'll take my taco with pork, thank you.

Speaking of pork, I talked Caden into buying a pig when we get married.  Not for our tacos, but for a pet.  A pig pet.  How fun is that?   I'm not sure what I'm more excited about: being married to Caden or having a pig for a pet.   Kidding.  Of course I'm more excited to be married to Caden, but a big pet sounds almost as exciting.

Hooray for Pig Pets.
Hooray for the New Year.
Horray for being called off.
Boo for tongue tacos.

Conversations with Caden.

Me:  On a scale from 1-10, how crazy would it be if _____ happened?
(I don't remember what we were talking about)

Caden:  A 4.

Me:  4? That's all?

Caden:  Well, yeah. 
If 10 is a dinosaur coming through the ceiling, I rate it a 4.

Me: Oh, okay.  I rate it a 4, too.

Someone should really record us.  We talk abut the most random things.
And that's what I love most about our relationship.  Randomness.  

Year in Review.

2011.  Wow.  What a year.
Probably the most eventful year of my entire life.
By far.   Let's recap.

December 2010 my mom separated from her husband of 15 years.  Best decision she has ever made for herself.  So, January 2011 was spent figuring out what we were going to do as two single girls living alone and trying to support ourselves.  I was accepted into and started the nursing program at DATC.   Scared as I possibly could be and not realizing what I was getting myself into.

February was spent studying.  And studying a LOT.   I was trying to figure out everything I could about nursing and how to study, and when to study, and where to study, and who to study with.  As a matter of fact, I'm STILL trying to figure all of that.  Hopefully I figure it out soon, seeing as how I'm almost graduated now.    Oh dear.   And when I wasn't studying, I was boarding.  Studying and boarding.  That was February.  

March was a big month for me.  This is when I finally met my Caden and it couldn't have come at a better time in my life.  I was feeling lost and needed something or someone to look forward to.  I was just going through the motions, not having any real direction.  And Caden is exactly what I needed.   We had our first date on March 11th and the rest is history.  He taught me how to drive a stick, how to long board, how to cook, and about religion.  We spent majority of our days together, and when we weren't together we were texting each other all day.  Who knew it would lead to something this great?

April was when we finally decided to be a "couple".   Best decision of my life.   April was when I learned how to deliver babies, and brought 3 people into this world.  Such an incredible feeling.  We painted easter eggs, we talked about our future, we made dinner together, went to Wendover and won big together and we said the "L" word for the first time together.   

May was  the month my sisters and mom and I met with a psychic lady. Supposedly she speaks to those who have crossed over to the other side.  She answered some unanswered questions about my Dad's death and put my mind at ease.   

May was also spent enjoying the sun.  We both were out of school for the summer and we played all summer long.  We had picnics, jumped on the tramp, long boarded, went to the midnight showing of Pirates of the Caribbean, played at Nickelcade and played outside all day long.   

June was our first trip together.  We went to St. George with his mom and sister and spent the entire time long boarding and laying out by the pool.  I had my first heart to heart with my future Mother-in-Law and realized what an incredible family I could possibly be marrying into.  I went to Pride and supported my sister and her girlfriend in their relationship and celebrated their love for each other.   

I enrolled in Impact, a training course to help you overcome some life struggles.  I went in hopes of dealing with my father and it was the first time, in my whole life, I was able to feel what I wanted to feel about my Dad without having to talk to anyone or explain myself.  June was the first time I could talk about my Dad without feeling anger or hurt.  

June was also the month Caden met my step-dad, Jeff.  Jeff gave his blessing on our relationship, the first time Jeff has EVERY approved of anyone I have EVER dated.  

July was the month my mom got a boyfriend.  First boyfriend since her divorce.  Having a mother date after 15 years is a strange feeling.  Teaching her how to text a boy, how to avoid kissing a boy at the door, how to kiss a boy when you want to kiss him, how to go on a date, how to avoid a date, etc.   It's a weird feeling waiting up for her and hoping she had a good time on the date.  And exciting to hear all the details and the exciting things that happened.  Or the not so exciting.

Caden went to Lake Powell for one whole week with his family.  No phone service. No hearing from him.  I was a complete mess.  Not being able to talk to someone that you love for a solid week is absolute torture.  I think I spent a week solid on the couch crying and wondering if my boyfriend was safe or even alive.

Once he came home, we decided we definitely don't want to be apart ever again.   And started talking Marriage.  Rings.  Ceremony.  Temple.  Kids.  Homes.  and our future together.  

Also in July, I accidentally almost started the entire neighborhood on fire with a faulty firework.

August 3rd Caden turned 22.  We celebrated in St. George and went to see my first play at the outdoor theater in Tuachan.  Caden took me to my first concert at Warped Tour--scariest day of my life.  Those people are angry.  I spent the entire day in complete shock and have never been more interested in people watching.  We went to the duck pond, we played Settlers of Catan every single night almost, played in the rain storm,  swimming over and over at Seven Peaks with our Season Passes, saw Tangled in the park, Lupe Fiasco concert in the park, and went R I N G shopping. 

September I saw my first colonoscopy for school.  Quite interesting on the big screen.  We went to the Dew Tour, I met his grandparents and fed their horses, I went to my second R E A L soccer game in my whole life,  I studied a lot.  LOT LOT LOT.  I had a melt down about school, about work, about missing Caden.  And then I studied more.   Also, September was the month I was able to take the sacrament truthfully for the first time in my life.  

October I saw my first face lift, live.  Made me realize I never want to have plastic surgery.  EVER.   I took Caden to his first haunted house of his life even though he was scared.  We started attending a marriage class in our church.  Learning a lot about each other and about being eternal companions.  Did some more ring shopping.  Did some more talking of marriage.  Caden got sick and I got to play nurse.  Invited all of our friends over for a Halloween party and made Caden dress up for the first time in his adult life.  Halloween is my favorite.

November was the month I found pinterest.  Uhhh, best find ever.  I met with my family to talk about my Grandpa.  He is declining and declining fast. We made some plans to help out as much as we could.  I went to Primary Children's hospital as a nurse and realized pediatrics is way too scary and not my cup of tea.  We had Thanksgiving together and it was the first time on a holiday that I've wanted to be with my boyfriend more than my own family.  This love thing is for real.   So real, in fact, that we got E N G A G E D in New York City.   The most perfect proposal I've ever read about, seen, heard about, witnessed, or dreamt of.  

And finally, December.  December was the month of the big wind storm.  Things were blowing away, trees were tipping over, it was madness.  I graduated as an LPN and passed my NCLEX after much tears and stress.  We had our first Christmas together as an engaged couple.   I spent Christmas Eve at my Grandma's with my siblings, Aunt and cousins.   My granpa passed away, after a battle of Alzheimers and we had the most incredible viewing and celebration of his life.  Caden and I kissed into the New Year at the corner of Temple Square under fireworks.  

Cheers to 2011.

and Welcome, 2012.

It's going to be difficult to beat 2011.  It was an incredible year.

and I have a feeling life is only going to get more and more incredible.

and I'm more than okay with that.