AA Emotions.

My heart is full tonight.

I attended an AA meeting with my sister to celebrate her 30 days sobriety.   I didn't know she was an alcoholic until a few months ago, when she came to my mom in desire attempt for help.  To see her tonight sober was amazing, but what's more amazing is to see her proud of herself.   I have seen her down and depressed, and it's not the way you hope to see your big sister.    Tonight she had a light about her that made me so proud and I pray she continues on the path of sobriety.

My Dad was an alcoholic and an addict.   For years and years.   He ended his trial in suicide, leaving behind a single mom and 3 small children.   I am glad Cass has chose to turn right when Dad turned left.

After the meeting, I spoke with my mom about her life as the wife of an alcoholic and an addict.   I can't comprehend the strength and courage that takes, to stay with a spouse and try to raise a family but living in fear.   My mom talks about being afraid to leave us girls with dad, or trusting dad with money or car keys.   She feared us going to school because drug dealers threatened to harm her kids if Dad didn't pay his drug bill.  

This life doesn't seem like MY life.  I can't comprehend these things happening to my own family.

Addiction is real, and it's scary.   It can happen to anyone at any time and that's terrifying.   I felt so many emotions tonight at the AA meeting, and I was touched by so many amazing hearts.    AA is such a great support system and I dream of living in a world where that love and support is everywhere.   I felt so accepted, without any judgments or fears.   It's a safe zone to share and to be open and honest, and I pray we can all learn to be that accepting and loving of one another in our raw forms.

I'm proud of my sister, and I am so grateful that she has chosen to get help.  She deserves a life worth living because she is truly amazing.