Get a lil' Mud on the Tires.

Started pouring rain, mid game. So 5 different teams huddled under one little tarp, people were sitting in outhouses, and some were under trailers while the rain passed over. Eventually, we got to play again.
Lost by one and we were out.
Better luck next year, eh?

I do.

I dig this type of wedding vows.

What You Talking 'bout, Willis?

For those who don't understand women, here is a littly tiny dictionary for "woman-talk".

Oh, baby.

I might be having a blonde moment, so correct me if I'm wrong.

Say Sally and Susan got pregnant the same time. Sally has her baby 2 months premature, Susan has her baby after 9 months. Sally's baby is now 2 months ahead of Susan's baby, in the real world. You follow? These little babies should have had their birthday in the same month, but now Sally's baby is 2 months older than Susan's. WIERD.

...is this mind-boggling to anyone else?
...am I making sense?

Josh #1525.

Got a fatty crush, meeting him tonight.
...and his name is Josh. Go figure.

Year in Review.

Here are the resolutions I made.
And how they are holding up.

a) Study HARD, not the bull-crap studying I've done in the past.
...Absolutely have been following through on this. Anatomy takes over my life.

b) Eat healthy. Not "diet", just healthy.
...Yes, and no. Somedays are better than others.

c) Do some sort of "work out" daily.
...I did REALLY great for a while. Now, not so much.

d) Cook dinner and try new recipes.
...Since Josh and I broke up, I haven't been cooking. So this is a NO.

e) Save as much money as possible for our home.
...Saving money, yes. For a house, probably not.

f) Say nice things about people.
...I like to think I'm doing a good job. Sometimes I have grumpy days.

g) Grow my hair long.
...BIG yes. Grow hair, grow.

h) Try new things.
...Not so much. BUT. I'm determined to go skydiving this summer.

i) Say "yes" to opportunity.
...I could do a better job at this, but for the most part I'm doing pretty great.
Look at me go.

Hell. Heaven. And Michael Jackson.

Michael Jackson died, big news.
I told Sean about it and he said something to the affect of
"That's what he gets for being a pedophile."
So then we got into this BIG discussion about
murderers and pedophiles and heaven and hell.
HUGE tangent. WAY off the subject.
But it got me thinking.

I really don't believe in hell.

..at all.

Supposedly hell is for murderers,
killers, pedophiles, and shitty people. Right?

Well those shitty people are someones mother, father,
daughter, son, blah blah blah.

I bet those people want their family member in heaven with them.
So why is hell for all of eternity?
Seems like a pretty harsh punishment.

I've done some shitty things in my life and
my mom has never ever ever
sent me to my room for all of eternity,
so why would god send his child to hell?
Doesn't seem just or fair in any sort of way.

Here are my thoughts on hell, and Sean thinks I'm crazy.

Murderers are most likely good people,
who for some reason got into a shitty time of their life and
did a really dumb thing. Agreed.

BUT, eventually they are going to realize they
effed up and God is going to say "Alright, go to your room.
Think about what you've done. Then when you're ready,
let's talk about it and I'll decide if I forgive you."
Just like my mom did to me when I effed up.

Now granted, my errors were
a lot smaller then murder and incest.
However, I think God is going to
judge us the same as a parent would.
I'm sure we will be punished for the things we did
and I'm positive we will have to sit in our rooms
and think about what we've done. BUT, I really just don't believe
that hell is for all of eternity. In any case.
Not even for the shitty of shitty.

Just my opinion.

Go ahead and share yours, I'm sure you think I'm crazy.

Note To Self.

Keep.
Growing.
Hair.

Sugar and Spice, and EVERYTHING nice.

This is why I H A V E to have a girl.

[http://kaminelson.blogspot.com/]

T O O much.

Feeling overwhelmed.

Last lab we learned the entire circulatory system,
each vein and artery, and the flow of blood.

BLEH.

Plus, I have an anatomy test Tuesday on 7 chapters of material.

AND..I'm planning a camping trip to Bear Lake over the 4th.

So when I get overwhelmed, I just don't do anything.

I sit and stare at my homework and I think about how overhwelmed I am.

NOT a good idea.

Evolution of Hair.

Dear friends at work,
I told you I had a lot of hairstyles.
:)

Bachelorette.

How C U T E is she? Seriously.

Not only is Bachelorette an amazing show, beyond belief. But Jillian is a fetchin' babe and my most favorite girl ever.

She is cute. pretty. successful. career woman. driven. motivated. independent. LOVE IT.

She's my inspiration.

Callie's game plan: Be successful, THEN find love.
Jill's game plan: Be successful, THEN find love.

and I L O V E that about her.

I'm all about team Jillian.

Coffee Beans.

Wanna' know something W I E R D?

I crave coffee.

..like a mo-fo.

Here is the wierd part though:
I effing hate coffee.

So I buy it.
I drink it.
I make a gross, yucky face.

Throw my coffee away.
And I'm out 7 bucks.

Stupid.

Too-da-loo.

I'm.
ready.
to.
MOVE.

Some days I love Utah. My family is here. My home is here. Everything I know is here.
..and other days I just want to move. And see the world. and Travel. And experience something knew. And start fresh. And meet people who aren't from the mormon bubble.

Yes, please. I'm ready to go.
I'll pack my bags. I hope I can make room in my suitcase to pack my Mom.

BIG news.

Guess who just called me...
Mountain Ridge Assisted Living. Scheduled an interview for Tuesday.

Bowww-ChiCkka-WoW-WoW.

----------------------

UPDATE:
Interview should have been on Tuesday. Girl calls me Monday and says the position has already been filled. W T F.
I guess some chick from another department applied, and they gave it to her. BOOOO.

Burning Love.

I've been reading this blog, about a wonderful woman in a terrible plane crash.
Breaks me heart.
...And reminds me SO much of Josh and his motorcycle accident. Scariest day.
OF. MY. LIFE.

Flashback, down memory lane:
I hadn't seen Josh that day, and I was living in SLC at the time. I get a phone call from him and am excited that he's calling. It's his sister, Megan. She tells me Josh wrecked on his bike and my heart sinks into my stomch. I ask her if he's okay, she tells me he is fine but scratched up a bit. BIG understatement. I tell her I'm on my way and I leave SLC immediatley.

I am doing okay, until I call my mom. I tell her what happens and my eyes fill up with tears. She reminds me that it will be okay, and tells me to drive safe and call her if I need her. I make it to the hospital 10000 hours later, it seems. I pull up to the E.R. and ask for Josh Casper, nurse takes me in the back and points straight down the hall "end of the hall, behind curtain number one."

I start walking. then jogging. then running. I see Josh's sister Tiffany and she tells me to keep my cool, and try not to lose it. I pull back the curtain and there is my Josh. Red eyed, bloody, scratched, almost naked, and missing a knee cap. He sees me and we both start crying. I stand at his bedside, kiss his head and ask if he is okay. He shakes his head no and my heart breaks. I want to make everything okay and all I can do is hold his hand. Terrible feeling. Worse than anything else.
Josh had a fourth degree burn. Someone hit him from behind on his motorcylce and his bike fell ontop of him, with the pipes burning a hole in his knee. He got a skin graph and they did a great job. Amazing to me that they can preform that sort of surgery.

I'll never forget his face when I pulled away the curtain. The way he fought back the tears. The nurses who hit on him in the hospital while he slept. Emptying Josh's pee can each night and each morning. Giving him a sponge bath while he layed on the couch. Feeding him Ramen Noodles. His face as his mom cleaned out his wound.

How tough he was.
And how scared I was.
Never. Ever. Forget.

I'm a Stalker.

I've been blog stalking this girl, Jalene, for two days now. Embarrassing. I don't even know her, or know how I found her blog but she makes me love life every. single. time. I read her blog.

"Some days I'll just be walking down the sidewalk to class and I'll want to throw my hands up in the air and jump and karate chop and laugh and smile and dance because life is just so dang good. But I never do it. I imagine in my head. I think people might think I'm crazy, but one day I'll do it. One day I'll get over my slight insecurity about what others might think, and just throw my hands up in the air. That'll be awesome. Life is good."
- Jalene.

Cool Things I Do.

Random thing that makes me, me:
When I add a bigger stack of something to a smaller stack of something (i.e. money, transaction tickets, napkins) I always have to put the smaller stack on top. I just want the little stack to make it to the top of the pile, instead of feeling like they were always on bottom and things are always getting in the way from making it there.

Just my little way of improving society, one stack at a time.

My friend, Shelly.

Drunk Shelly spent the night last night.

Recap: almost peed on my dog kennels instead of the toilet,

coughed ALL night and then walked home at 7am in the rain.

I love her.

...and am SO tired.

Love, it's What Brings Us Together Today.

Love isn't an act. It's a whole life. It's staying with her now, because she needs you. It's knowing you and she will still care about each other when sex and daydreams, fights and futures, when all that is on the shelf and done with. Love. I'll tell you what love is: it's you at seventy-five and her at seventy-one each listening for the other's steps in the next room. Each afraid that a sudden silence, sudden cry, could mean a lifetime's talk is over. -Brian Moore.

This is how love is, in the eyes of me. When I think about my relationship with Josh, it doesn't seem real to me. It's like a dream. Not in a bad way, but in a "Did that really happen?" way. I loved him, and I cared about him and I wanted the best for him. But, I couldn't picture my life with him 70 years down the road. I couldn't picture him as a husband or a pappa bear to my babies. Big red flag.

Love isn't about making babies or getting married. Love is about making your partner as happy as you possibly can. Love is about doing everything for your partner and your partner doing everything for you. Love is about being supportive, caring, understanding, accepting, welcoming, motivating, uplifting, inspiring and sincere.

Love is a big deal, and I don't take it lightly. And the next time I fall in love, I kinda want it to be forever. and ever. and ever. and ever.

SYTYCD.

SO. YOU. THiNK. YOU. CAN. DaNCE.On a scale from 1-10, I love this show an 11.

SO amazing. SO A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.

Gross picture. WARNING.

This is what our cadavers look like, only minus the skin.
...and tomorrow we are learning the brain and it grosses me out just to think about it.
BLEH.

Cocktail Hour.

Kalee and Sam are my new favorite people.
Seriously, SO dang funny.
Sam is a fetchin' retard and Kalee makes fun of her the whole time and I just sit back and laugh at both of them.


This is us, at a cocktail party--which was lame. So we left, and went to a different little get together and were WAY over dressed and stayed WAY too late. Always a thumbs up.

For your viewing pleasure:
Me, being a loser.

M.I.S.S.I.N.G

I missss my friend.

Her name is Janelle, and I think she has gone missing.

Description: She has REALLY blonde hair and green eyes, that sometimes turn blue when she is mad. She use to drive a Buick that had a door held together with duct tape and windows you had to hit to roll up. Now she drives a red focus that I've never even been in. She has a super loud laugh, the kind you can hear from one end of Bonneville High's senior hall to the other end. She use to live off Glassman and her house had a roof that was great for sitting on, and a driveway full of dragonflies. If you see her, please let me know.

Seriously, I miss her.

Nelly, my little snuggle bug. I never ever ever ever ever see her anymore. Mostly because I "divorced" Josh and withdrew myself from the cool married club. ALSO.. She works. I work. She goes to school. I go to school. She has a husband. ...all that makes it hard to see each other. And it's wierd for her not to be a part of my life. Janelle and I were joined at the hip. She knew everything about me, and I knew everything about her. I never went somewhere without her, and if I did then people would ask me "Where is Janelle?"

Janelle was my BFF and now she is married. And I don't see her. And it makes me sad. And I hate it. a bunch.

Following the Leader.

What happened?
...all the sudden I'm following like 1000 blogs.
How did THAT happen?

Old-y, and a Good-y.

I wrote this when I was fighting with Josh, and not sure what to do.
This is more of a journal entry, but needed somewhere to save it.
-----------------------------------
It's hard to make a decision,
when my heart and my head can't agree.
One wants you with me and one wants to be free.
One wants your love and the joy that comes with it,
One wants to be independent and do things without it.
I'm pulled in directions and it's hard for me to stretch,
I'm losing my emotions and they are hard to catch.
Sometimes I'm completey sure on what I want to do,
other times I'm torn and I don't have a clue.
I'm being selfish by stringing you along,
Telling you what I want and then telling you I'm wrong.
You have been so patient in waiting for me to choose,
and I have been so scared for the fear of you I'd lose.
I know I want you with me and always in my heart,
I need to choose a path.....
....but not sure where to start.

Feeling Regretful.

I want this pierced.

Again.

For the THIRD time.

Crazy and Possessive.

I L. O. V. E. being single.
LOVE it.
LOVE.
LOVE.
LOVE.

And dating is a hoot to me.
The most random things happen when you're single, like my professor wanting to play matchmaker. WTF.

What I DON'T love is crazy asses who think I'm their girlfriend, and get all crazy wierd and over protective. NEWS FLASH. I'm not your girlfriend.

Here is the story:
Meet boy in Bear Lake. He comes to Ogden, we hang out. Have lots of fun, have lots in common. Plan to hang out again this weekend, on Sunday. He asks why I can't hang out on Saturday and I tell him I already have plans.

Now, here is the crazy part.
He gets PISSED and says something crazy about him not being my number one. UM, Seriously?! I remind him that I'm dating other people, not just him. He tells me he should be my first priority and blah-blah-blah.

W

T

F.

Is it possible to meet a normal, nice boy. One who doesn't get crazy possessive, and doesn't want to be a bishop and doesn't drink until they pass out?

How I Got an A+ in Anatomy.

Professor and I are talking after class. He is asking how school is going, what sort of grades I'm getting, and other basic information. Then he drops this bomb.

P: So, do you have a boyfriend?
Me: No, I actually just broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago.
P: Do you date older guys?
Me: (Panic mode, because I know he is married.)
P: Not for me, for my friend.
Me: (Calm down a little,) Oh, I never really have. I guess I would.
P: Okay, I'll talk to my friend and get back to you.

Next day, RIGHT after lecture.

P: (Points to me and mouths "Right down your number.")
Me: (Panic mode, because I'm positive the whole class saw and thinks I'm having an affair with my professor. I write it down and give it to him.)
P: (Mentions something about his wife, to make this whole situation less awkward.)

That day I e-mail professor about test, and casually ask what his friend is like. He tells me all about him and convinces me that this will not, in any way, effect my grade if things go terribly.

Toward the end of the E-mail...
Me: So, why did you choose me to set your friend up with?
P: Well, because you're not ugly.

Is that a compliment? Could this BE anymore awkward? If I smooch his 30-something-year-old friend, will it give me an A in his class?

School. Again.

Guess what I'm going to post about. School.

...because it's ALL that I think about.

Today, as I am walking into my house, I think to myself "Hey, the front door handle looks a LOT like the clavicle." THAT is how you KNOW you are a loser.

-------------------------

I got this little number in the mail today.
...Oh, can't see it? How about a closer look.

Yep, that's a letter from WSU.
..congratulating me on my HIGH HONORS.

BoWwww-ChiCKa-WoW-WOW.

I have this annoying characteristic about myself, where I focus too much on the areas I need to improve and forget about all the really great things I'm doing and how far I have come.

For example, I got a B on my first Anatomy test. Big deal, right? No. Wrong. Instead, I was pissed that it wasn't an A.

I am constantly comparing myself to others that are better and others that are further along.

I'm a freshman, comparing myself to seniors.
I'm a tadpole, comparing myself to sharks.

So when I got this letter, I had a little bit of a break down. I showed my parents, I took pictures and I absorbed the effect it had on me. I was truly proud of myself and the accomplishments I've made.

I took a deep breathe and I said outloud,
"Callie, you're doing this."