Baby Hall

Written 10/30/2013---

These past few days I've felt like an emotional wreck.  I thought it was just a serious case of PMS.   ...which I don't usually get.  

I found myself annoyed at the smallest things: Why did people in the grocery store had to stop in front of the food items I wanted to buy?  Why did my upstairs neighbor insist on turning on the air conditioner in the middle of fall?  Why did the cords on my TV have to ALWAYS be tangled the wrong way?  Why was my text tone SO loud and SO annoying?  Why did my nail polish chip the day after I painted my nails?

Why? Why? Why?!

I put up with it for a day.  Then another.  Then another.  Then another.
After four days of feeling this way, I finally mentioned it to Caden.   He agreed that I had been on edge and thought I was just ready to start my period.  So, I started counting back a few weeks.  1...2...3...4.

Yep, I was late..but, that's not unusual for me.  Sometimes my period will be regular for months on end, sometimes it won't come for 6 or 7 months.   So, I argued with myself until last night.  I was home alone while Caden worked and I decided to take a trip to the store for a pregnancy test.  I had no make up on.  No sort of hairstyle whatsoever.  And no bra.   I threw on a hoodie and headed down the street for an First Choice test.

After a quick pee, I noticed two solid lines.

Pregnant.

That can't be right.  I stared at it again.  Then, I ran out to the living room and sat on the couch.  Pregnant? Can that be true?   Caden and I had gone off birth control just three months prior, but I never thought my body would respond so quickly.   I paced around my living room and then back to the bathroom.  Yep.  Two pink lines.  Pregnant.     I read the box for instructions.  Did I do it right?  Am I reading something wrong?   Nope.   I'm pregnant!   Oh my gosh.  Oh my gosh.   Back to the couch.  Grab my phone.   I can't text Caden this information, but he won't be home for another half hour.   Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.   Back to the bathroom.   Stare at the stick another time and get the happiest tears rolling down my face. 

I'm really pregnant.   :)

The next half hour was the longest half hour of my life thus far.   I tried to watch TV to pass the time, but all I could think about was telling Caden this news.   FINALLY, he walked in the door.  I asked him about his day as I usually do.  We smooched.  We hugged.  He told me all about his day at work and what he learned at school.  Then, I told him I had a surprise and  he had to close his eyes.

I handed him the stick and told him to open.

His jaw dropped open and he looked at me.  "Really?! Is it true?!" He asked.   Yep.  It's true.   We are doing this.   He screamed and he yelled and he hugged me and we kissed.  And excitement filled his face.  More screaming. More kissing.  More tears for me.  

Of course, I didn't sleep all night long.   How can you sleep with information as exciting as this?   So, I spent the whole night lying in bed planning how to tell our families.  When morning came, I got ready thinking how careful I had to be not to upset the little baby inside me.   As I kissed Caden goodbye he told me "Be careful, love.  You have our baby inside you."   

I can't believe this.
We are pregnant.
We are having a baby.
and my babies dad is Caden.

Too exciting.  
Eeeek!

Tips on Marriage.

I have this phobia of getting divorced.
I've blogged about this issue before.
It freaks me right-the-heck out.  

So, I do a lot of reading on successful marriages.
...and this, is by far, the best advice I have read.

It's so simple.
So true.
So perfect.

So, I'm posting here so that I never forget these things.

 

Ginger, without the bread.

This is me as a red head, in all my natural glory.

No dye.

No fluff.

No pretend.

I'm a red head.

 

This is what I wish I looked like as a red head.

Fierce and delicious and divine.

Instead, I look like this.
Which is good for no one involved.

Thus, resulting in box dye.

Or, sometimes expensive great hair dye job by my stylist.

 

 

 

 

Parenthood.

Since I'm currently inbetween jobs, I have had the past thousand days off.
...or so it feels that way.

I finished my last day as a CNA on Saturday, October 12th.  I don't start again as a nurse until Thursday, October 18th.  That's six entire days I have been home doing nothing.

Which has been kind of nice.

I've cleaned our apartment, made some dinners, organized, cleaned some more and watched a lot lot lot of Parenthood.

 

Ahhh, Parenthood.

 

This show makes me absolutely terrified to have children.  Yet, totally excited at the same time.   It's proof that no matter how ready or not ready you are, children come when children are dang well ready to come.  

 

So, how do you know when you are ready to have a little babe?  Is it when you are done with school? When you've saved up enough money? When you have a big enough house? When you reach a certain age? When you have traveled and seen the world? When you have been married at least 5 years?   

 

Nope.   Children come when children are ready to come.

I just picture our little tykes up in heaven, looking down on us, waiting for the perfect most opportune moment to blast down and surprise us with the biggest shock and most exciting present of our lives.

Until that day, here is to more hours spent curled up in the couch underneath my electric blanket.  Waiting for Cadet to come home from school or work and waiting for him to snuggle me to my hearts desire.  

Cheers to that.

Sharing is Caring.

Today in class we discussed alcoholism and how it can be hereditary.  As this fellow was presenting it was typical facts and blah, blah, blah.   And then, in his closing remarks, he mentioned that he is an alcoholic and how he lost everything because of his addiction.

All the sudden the presentation wasn't blah, blah, blah anymore.
All eyes were on him and his words were cemented into my brain.

His story really touched me.  He apologized for getting emotional and I wiped away my tears.  It was such an incredible story.  Incredibly sad, but incredibly inspiring that he has turned his life around and now is willing to educate people on this disease.  

So, my question is this: why don't we share these things that are taboo?  Why aren't more people willing to express their hardships and their struggles?  Why do we constantly try to put on a persona that we are perfect and life is lovely?  

I learn so much more from personal stories and I learn even more from those who have hardships.  My heart connects to those who are willing to share and I instantly feel bonded to anyone and everyone that opens up to me and exposes those underwires that no one dares share.  

Share with me.
Care with me.
Promise not to laugh.

Marriage Life is So Good.

Once you're married, people like to ask often how married life is.    I usually respond and tell them that it is so good, and I remember when people used to tell me that as a response.  I would always think it was so generic and that's just what they had to say. 

But truthfully, married life really is so good.

When I was a single girl, I stressed often about marriage.  I always thought it would be so difficult to join lives with another person and to share anything and everything about myself.  I enjoyed being single and I enjoyed having the freedom to do as I pleased and not worry about consulting with another person.  

Plus, I grew up in a home with divorced parents so marriage was a scary word and divorce was an even more scary word.  So, as a single girl, I was okay staying single. 

That is, until I met Caden.

As we started dating, my whole world changed.
...in a good way.

All the sudden I wanted nothing more than to be a pair.  I wanted him to be mine and I wanted me to be his.  I no longer wanted to be single and I wanted to share anything and everything I could with Caden.

When I was dating in my younger years, people always told me "When you know, you know."   And I remember thinking, "How in the world am I going to know?!" 

And then I knew.
Out of no where.

It hit me like a ton of bricks and I knew that Caden was my lobster and that I wanted nothing more to be married to him for the rest of my forever.

Our wedding day was the most magical, most perfect, most fairy-tale day.   I wasn't nervous.  I wasn't scared. I didn't get cold feet.  I was just excited and absolutely 100% positive that this is what I wanted to do, what I needed to do, what I was destined to do.  

Since then, every day has felt that way.  I couldn't have planned a more perfect husband.  I love everything about being married.  I love the way he wakes me up in the morning and the way he tucks me in at night.  I love the way he makes the bed in the mornings, even if the pillows aren't just right.  I love how he lets me have the fire place on, even if he is melting.  I love the way he does the dishes and scrubs with all his muscle.  I love when he brings me home chocolate milk, because he knows it's my favorite.  I love when he makes out the grocery list and calls our dish scrubber a "scrubby thing".  I love his dance moves in his underwear, his loud singing voice, his silly jokes that make only me laugh, the way he folds our laundry and never dares put it aways for fear that he might "mess it up".   

He truly is the best husband.

So believe it when I say, marriage life truly is so good.
So so good.

Apartment Tour.

Here is our living room.  The first room you see in our home.
That blue table is a table my big sister, Cass, made.  It's product of a door + crib.  Voila! 

This is the fireplace.  I LOVE fireplaces.  I turn it on even when it's 100 degrees outside.  Those witch shoes are my very first craft, ever.  That H is our guest book from our wedding. 

This is our collection of movies and books.  Caden is all about having a gigantic library one day.  So far we only have a bookcase, but one step at a time.

This is my bathroom.  Caden has his own.  This is full of perfume, makeup, girly stuff, foo-foo and hair all over the floor.  All the joys of a girly bathroom.

This is our kitchen/dining room.  I love how big and open it is. 

And yes, those are dirty dishes in our sink.  See that dishwasher in the corner? Its on wheels and you hook it right up to the sink and plug it in.  Fancy pants.  

These are all the cute things on our fridge.  We have a calendar that we write all our days we work on.  Otherwise, we would both be lost and never know when to go to work.

I've always wanted these little canister things.  Can you tell we eat a lot of sugar in our house?  Plus, whoever gave us those knives, I LOVE them.  Each color does a different function.  SO much fun.

 

This is where we play games.  Most people eat on their kitchen table.  We, however, play games.  This table was given to us by our blogger friend, Jess.  That door was given to me by my sister, Cass.  She found it on the side of the road.  I LOVE treasures.

This was given to us by Caden's parents.  They sold their cabin in the knick of time and gifted us most of their furniture.  I LOVE this.  It matches our kitchen perfectly.  And that little chalk-board is fun to write little messages on.  That was a gift from my BFF, Janelle.

This is Caden's favorite part of the house.  LOOK AT ALL THOSE SPICES.

And yes, they are in alphabetical order.   Would you like to season something?  We got you covered.   Below the spices is appliances galore.  Toaster. Crock Pot. Waffle Maker. Snack Master. Milk Steamer. Ninja Small. Ninja Big.  Yep, we cook things.

Another shot of our gigantic walk in pantry.  And my cute apron that I wear when I cook, because I'm the messiest cook in all the land.

We are one of the few who were blessed with a washer and dryer in an apartment.  So, this is the washer and dryer and vaccum and dirty laundry.  

Here is our bedroom.  That big empty space on my wall is a project in the making.  I plan to do some sort of display of our wedding vows.  I just haven't quite found the perfect idea yet.  But, it's in the making.

Here is what I see when I wake up in the mornings.  Im a bit tired of the jewelry hanging on display.  However, I love being able to see all my jewelry at once.  Not sure which I want more.   And those are Caden's hats hanging under cute pictures of us.  Another great wedding present from Jordan and Tiffany.

This was a fun wedding present--personalized towels.   This keeps Caden from getting boogers on my towel.   Kidding.  He doesn't have boogers...

This is storage upon storage.  This is where we put things that we don't know where to put other things.   Camping gear. Swimming gear. Boarding gear. 

This is probably a fire hazard...

This is my favorite part of the whole house.

Caden leaves me cute little notes all over the house.

This one was found on our fridge.

What a cute guy he is.  

 

And, that's our apartment.

It's the best apartment I have ever seen.

and I love everything about it.

 

Ta-Da.