Father's Day : mixed emotions.

Mixed emotions on this Fathers Day.   

Fathers Day has usually been a difficult holiday for my family growing up.  Just a giant day to remind us that our Dad isn't here.  It's usually full of tears a heart ache and a lot of difficult emotions.   

Not knowing or remembering my dad makes these emotions even more confusing.   How can I be so sad and miss someone so much who I don't even remember, or really know?  

This year, we have now lost both sets of my Grandpas.   My moms Dad, as well as my Dads Dad.   We are a family without Dads, making Fathers Day a bummer of a holiday.  

And then I turn my frown upside down and I am reminded of my mother, who was a mother AND a father.  Who raised us three girls to be very strong and very independent.   

I'm reminded of my uncles and cousins who have been the "men of the house" when we needed some muscle, or some rough and tough in our lives.  

And, of course, I'm reminded of my incredible husband who is just 23 days away from being a father.   Just that sentence makes my eyes tear with joy. NOTHING makes me happier than raising children with Cade.   He is so very patient and kind, with such a love for anything fun, exciting and child-related.   He has the biggest heart and has been so loving towards me during this entire pregnancy. 

Watching him talk about Hazel and seeing his face beam with pride, the way he holds my tummy while we watch TV, when he talks to Hazel and tells her what a "pretty princess" she is, and when he makes plans for the future to include long boarding with her on his back, taking her to Disneyland to meet the princesses, and picnicking on the lawn while she crawls in the grass. 

Father's Day is no longer something to be sad about, because I have been very very blessed.   Although my Dad and grandparents are not physically here, I have the comfort knowing they are around when I need them.  I have a mother who is an incredible and inspiring woman that I look up to in every way, I have men who, although are not my father, they are great role models to me and my sisters, and I have Caden who has been the best example of what a father and a husband can and should be. 

Cheers to Fathers, of all shapes and sizes.  And thanks for making me remember how blessed and loved I truly am.   ❤