Miscarriages and Loss.

My heart is heavy.

Real heavy.

Someone I love dearly had a miscarriage.

And it breaks my heart into pieces.

Fertility is such a funny thing.  A mom with an unstable life, addicted to drugs with no where to live can have a child, but a mother desperately seeking a child to love and call her own is unable to bring one into this world.

I do not get it.

As she told me this news, my heart broke instantly. Our children would be 3 weeks apart.  How am I going to be a support to her, knowing I have something that she desperately wants? How can I help her through this crisis without rubbing my belly into hers that is empty?  

It just doesn't seem fair.  And I feel horrible.   

After she told me the news, I went to pick up my 2-year old daughter.  She ran to the stairs screaming "Mommy!" and I started sobbing.   Motherhood is something incredible. It's such a huge blessing and it's such an honor.   I can't believe Heavenly Father continues to send me these angels to raise in my home and I can't believe I'm lucky enough to be their mommy.   

Motherhood is something that EVERY woman should be allowed to experience.   It's such a beautiful thing and words can't express how amazing it feels to hear a child call you "mommy".    It's absolutely incredible.    So, why do some women get to experience it and not others? Why are some babies sent for such a short amount of time and then brought back? Why do great mommies have to keep their babies in heaven?

I don't get it.  

And I never will.

My heart aches for those who have experienced a miscarriage.   Its something I can't even imagine and I hope that I never have to experience it.   

Sending fertility dust your way.

❤️❤️❤️