Bucket List.

Day Five of 30 Questions: Something I hope to do in my Life.

• Graduate with my Bachelor's of Nursing.
• Marry a wonderful man in Hawaii.
• Travel to Europe and talk with an English accent.
• Ride an Elephant.
• Kiss the Blarney Stone.
• Have a baby Girl.
• Learn to slolomn ski.
• Speak Spanish.
• Play the Guitar---and play it well.
• Buy a Boxer.
• Salsa Dance with my Husband.
• Go White Water Rafting.
• Take up Photography.
• Solve the Rubik's Cube without taking off the Stickers.
• Be a better Scrapbook-er.
• Learn to say "No" without feeling Guilty.

....just to name a few.

Forgiving Him.

Day three of 30 questions is something I need to forgive myself for, and I don't like this question.   So, day four is something I need to forgive someone else for. 


I know what my answer would be, but I'm not really ready to talk about it.

This shit is getting personal.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
UPDATE:
Let's talk about it.

My answer is easy, but my explanation is a little more difficult to type.  

The person I need to forgive the most in my life is my Dad.   My dad passed away when I was four, due to suicide.   My dad was in and out of rehab majority of my life with drug addictions. 

I don't remember anything about him.  I don't remember the way he looks, smells, talks, sounds, moves.  I don't remember his mannerisms, visiting him, seeing him, being held.  Nothing.   The only things I have relating to my dad are some old pictures of him when he was young, a briefcase that smells like an old library, and a big hole in my heart.  

My sisters remember, but not always the good things.  They remember the fights, the drugs, the hospitals.  They remember the scary times and the hard times.   But, they also remember the hikes, boating, fishing, camping. They remember doing things and going places.  They remember him, and I don't. 

I don't remember because I was young and because he left me at a young age.  He was selfish and took his own life, in hopes of ending the pain.  He didn't consider his daughters, his family, his friends. 

He just left, without saying goodbye, and I will never forget.

Something I Dig.

So, I have a few things I dislike about me.
But I've got a bigger list of things I really like.

My most favorite thing: my optimism.  
I can turn almost any shitty situation into a positive one.  I can see the good in almost everyone.  I am pretty positive, pretty happy, pretty upbeat.   I rarely, if ever, lose my temper and I am pretty dang chill.

This has made my life really great.
Things come easy for me.  Learning is easy, jobs are easy, making friends is easy.  I get promotions easy, I progress quick, I am accepted fast. 

...this is beginning to sound real cocky.

Moral of the story:  I'm a happy girl and I really dig that about myself.  I like being happy, I like being positive, and I like being up-beat.   It's a good quality to have, and I'm real blessed that my glass is half full.

Something to Work On.

I don't really hate anything about me.
But I definitely dislike a thing or two.   

I dislike the fact that I worry.  If someone said to me "let's pack our bags and leave for Europe tomorrow," I would think of a million reasons why I couldn't go.   I've got school, I've got a job, I can't leave my mom.  I don't have enough money, I'm not ready, I don't have a plane ticket.      I rarely live life on the edge and I plan almost everything.  

I hope that maybe, just maybe, I'll grow out of this.
However, I kind-of-sort-of think it's planted in my brain--maybe genetic or something.    Maybe it's something I can work on and maybe Josh will help.   Eh.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go write in my day planner.

30 days of Questions.

I stole this from Chloe, and I really dig it.
However, I doubt I'll do each one of them--because some I don't like.
I also doubt that I'll do them on the right days, because sometimes I forget to blog.   
But the idea of it is great, so I'm going to attempt it.   
Ready, Set, Go.

• Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.
• Day 2: Something you love about yourself.
• Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.
• Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.
• Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life.
• Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.
• Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for.
• Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like poopy.
• Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
• Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
• Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
• Day 12: Something you never get compliments on.
• Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days.
• Day 14: A hero that has let you down. 
• Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without.
• Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without.
• Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
• Day 18: Your views on gay marriage.
• Day 19: What do you think of religion?
• Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
• Day 21: Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before.  What do you do?
• Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
• Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life.
• Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.
• Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
• Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
• Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now?
• Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
• Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
• Day 30: A letter to yourself.

Gas for Dummies.

So, I'm at the gas station getting gas.

I watch this lady fill up her tank while sitting in the drivers seat.   She's texting and talking to some dude across the parking lot and not paying attention.  I watch her start her car and drive away, while the hose is still in her gas tank.    

Uhhhhh.

The hose rips out of her car and she stops her car.  She looks at me in shock and says:  "Oh my gosh.  I've never done that before."

Yeah lady, I definitely hope this is the first time that this has happened.

Sister Wives.

I'm completely obsessed with this show.

This show is excellent publicity for polygamy because every time I watch it, I find myself thinking what a great idea polygamy is.

I also find myself wondering why I haven't ever thought about being a Sister Wife.





...and then I remember that I'd have to share my husband and have 1999 kids running around, and I remember why I'm a monogamy kind of girl.

Thumbs Up. ...kinda.

May or may not have broken my thumb when I
closed my car door with my thumb inside the crack.  

Excellent way to start my day.

Definitely not a morning person.

...especially at three in the morning.

Pursuit of Happyness.

When I'm feeling discouraged, I play this quote over and over in my mind.  I pretend like Chris Gardner is talking right to me, and then I feel like I can conquer the world.

Chris:  

"Hey, don't ever let somebody tell you that you can't do something.  Not even me, alright?  You got a dream? You gotta' protect it. People can't do something themselves, they wanna' tell you that YOU can't do it.  You want something? Go get it.  Period."

Thanks, Chris.
You're the best.

Pinching Pennies.

Sometimes I have plenty of money to last me until next payday.
Sometimes I definitely don't.

But nothing makes me more happy than budgeting my money.

It's like a tiny little game I play with myself.

Let's see how long I can make $15.00 last.
Let's try to save $100.00 by next month.
Let's pay off my student loan by October.

It's a challenge.

and I really dig it.

So much so, that I budget my sister's money, as well.
I broke down her bills, her income, her expenses.
I made a chart and a diagram, and I created a budget.

It's fun for me.
I dig it.

Maybe I should be an accountant and ditch the Nursing degree.

Psh.

Yeah right.

6.0.0.

POST NUMBER
600!

Super exciting.

Count your Blessings. Name them One by One.

Remember how sometimes I complain about school and stress?
Welp, I take it all back.

Today I was talking to a fellow classmate and this dude is oober positive about life.  He always tells me that things are going to be okay, and that I'll make it out alive.  He always has a smile on his face and he's always doing the very best he can.  

We had a little heart-to-heart today and he told me his story.  He's married and has three boys.  His wife works full time, he works full time, and he goes to school full time.  His wife works graveyards, he works days, and together they split the time watching children.  The only time they see each other is at the train station when they trade kid duty, kiss goodbye, and send one spouse to work while the other returns from work.

Seriously.  This is his life.

Oh yeah, and he has to be out of his house in 9 days and doesn't know where he's going to live.

I asked him how he was holding it together.  Why wasn't he freaking out?  His response: It'll work out.  It always does.

And he smiles.  And he continues to study.

What the crap?

Why have I been complaining of stress?

My life is not even kinda' stressful.

Not even a little bit.

Seriously.

Counting my blessings.

And praying for this dude.

Once upon a Time.

This one time...

I decided to stay up until 2am watching House, even though I had to work an 8 hour shift the next day starting at 5am, then study three chapters of Pathophysiology.

That was a good day.

Following the Leader.

Heeeyyyyy New Follower.
I don't know who you are, but super glad to have you.  

Following the Leader.

Welcome Jennifer Michelle and Mary Wilson.
Love new followers.


P.S.  Who's great idea was it to only get 4 hours of sleep and then try to work/study all day long the next day?   Oh yeah.  That was me and Mr. Soul Patch.    Ugh.    Do I regret it, though? Definitely not.