Mormon Message - Testimony, part 2.

Disclaimer: This is kind of a ramble.
Not meant to preach.  Not meant to judge.
I just needed a place to jot my thoughts.  


Coming from a background that I do made it hard on my testimony.   It wasn't long ago that I went through a period in my life where I was border line anti-mormon.   My spirit was broken, my goals were lost, my ambition was weak and I had poor goals in mind.  Of course, I still wanted to be successful and I still wanted to succeed in my career, in love, in my relationship with my family, etc.   I just didn't have a desire beyond that; I didn't have a spiritual drive.  And I never truly felt satisfied.

Coming from a place of no testimony, and now growing into a relationship with my God and with my spirit has been incredibly rewarding for me.  I never thought I would be worthy enough to enter into the temple.  I never thought I would be worthy enough to hold a calling in the church.  I never had a desire to meet with the Bishop, or to have him know me by name.  I had no desire to attend church or read scriptures.

and now, that couldn't be more opposite.  I look forward to my Sundays so much.  I love going to church and the feeling that I get when I'm there. It's incredibly rewarding to me to sit in church and listen to people who are my age and who I can relate to, and listen as they share their testimonys and their love for the same things I believe in.   The same goals that I'm trying for.  The same desires that I have.

Repenting was always such a strange concept to me.  I never thought I needed to tell a bishop anything about my sins or my struggles.  I thought that was my own personal business and I dealt with it how I chose to.   And now, I respect my bishop in such a high degree.  I am incredibly grateful for him and his comfort.  I love to meet with him and the feeling I get as I leave his office.  His words are always absolutely everything I need to hear.  The feeling I get when I'm with him is so comforting, so loving, so accepting.

I wish I could explain in better words what an incredible transformation this has been.  I wish I knew how to describe it in a way that made sense and was clear.  I wish I could explain the appreciation and gratefulness I have for the gospel and for the ability I have to be a part of it.

I'm not trying to convert anyone, or to preach.    However, I recommend everyone find something/someone in their life that makes them spiritual fulfilled.  I know what it's like to have an empty spirit and I know what kind of trouble it can cause.   And now I know how it fills to have that part of me filled, and how much better my life has been because of it.

It's incredible.
and I'm grateful.
and that's all.