I come from a mormon background. My parents were mormon and fairly active. Through some trials and things that happened, my dad was excommunicated and my mom stopped going. She was angry with the church and we all had issues with the church that weren't ever resolved.
I was still baptized when I was eight, and I went from time to time with my friends. I wasn't ever really active and I wasn't sure what any of it meant. I took the sacrament because others took the sacrament. I knew that God loved me, but I had no idea of the covenants I was making and the things I was doing or being taught.
The older I got, the more I pulled away from the church. I had mormon friends but I thought they were crazy for the things they were believing. I thought they were brainwashed and silly. I couldn't believe that they were so close-minded and crazy. They would always tell me how great and true the church was and I remember thinking that they were just oblivious to the outside world.
Fastforward 13 years, and here I am.
Happiest girl I have EVER been. Excited about my future. Thrilled about how far I've come. Ready to learn and ready to grow. Wanting to be better and do better. And happy about what all of that means. Because of the help from Caden and his testimony in the church, it's strengthen my relationship with God. Everynight I would pray and thank God for bringing Caden into my life, and every night I felt like I could do more and be more than I was being. Slowly, I gave up swearing. I gave up drinking. I started praying more. I started trusting in God. And, that led me back to church. Not because Caden pushing me, not because he forced me into it. Only through his testimony and his love for God has it inspired me to go back to church and that is a WONDERFUL gift.
I still have questions about church and I'm still learning, but that doesn't make me any less of a mormon. It's okay to question and it's okay to wonder, that's how I grow as a person. I'm constantly asking questions about life, about nursing school, about friendships, about relationships, about family and now about church. Having questions is okay and asking them helps me grow.
And this is where I choose to ask these questions. Here, on my blog. This is where I ponder the things I'm learning, this is where I write to sort things out. This isn't a place to fight or to argue, this isn't a place to comment and say mean things, this isn't a place to question my beliefs. This is a place for me. But please, reader, if you have some words of encouragment or a testimony of your own, please do share.
Thanks.
...and Amen.
2 comments:
I loved reading about your religious life. You have a good head on your shoulders. I've always thought that.
I am having a hard time deciding how to word my testimony. I worry about saying the right things, spelling, worry about being judged, and... You know what? I am testifying of the truthfulness of my best friend, Jesus Christ. I will also testify of my worst enemy, Satan. Christ lived on the earth and was killed. He died for me. I often wonder how many drops of blood did he spill for my soul? I know without a inch of doubt that He came, He saw, and He conquered. He came to earth willingly knowing He was going to die for mankind. He saw those who needed help and He helped them! He even helped his enemies. He was betrayed, He was spit upon, and He suffered things nobody else could because He is the son of God. Satan wanted us to be controlled. Satan wanted to have all the glory for him. Satan wanted me to be silent instead of bearing my testimony. I know also without an inch of doubt that Satan is real. He can be your best friend, if you want. He can and will bring your sorrow, sadness, and confusion. He will love to help you get angry with others, He loves to see you fall, and He loves to help you on your way down. I've tried living on Christ's side, and I've tried living on Satan's. The truth is found in the scriptures
"No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon." -Matthew 6
If you think about it there is a good and bad side. Just like in the Disney movies. Life is black and white, and there is a gray area. Decided what side your on. Or don't but you will be happier choosing the happy side. Isn't that obvious? The wonderful thing about the LDS church is that it's so SIMPLE! God loved us, so he created a place we could live, and created a way for us to come home. Which is through Christ. The other wonderful thing about LDS church is how in depth it is. I testify when small children say things that we haven't even thought of it is because every child is born with the spirit of God. But even grown men and women can testify of the same truths like the children and they weep. They've come to realize why we are here, Who we are, and where we go after this life. I have tried and found no other way to be ME, and be completely happy then by trusting in my Maker.
I love Him.
I testify that God is real and we can return to him and return to our families we had upon the earth. If you ask in faith, wanting to know this things which I have spoke from my heart are true. You can know them! Get on your knees and ask. Then follow the desires of your heart. You will be answered by a loving family members remarks, a breath taking sunset, or the confidence that comes from a true and lasting friendship. I say these things with the boldness and truthfulness in my heart, mind, and my words.
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
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