Friday, February 4, 2011

Day 05: Suicide.

I'm almost positive I've blogged about this before, but wasn't able to find the post to reference.  So, this may be a repeat, kinda.  

Firstly, I've never thought of ending my own life.  Not ever.   I absolutely love my life and I cherish it with every fiber of my being.  It's super important to me and I feel extremely lucky to be given the opportunity of being here in the place that I'm at, with the family I've got, the freedom I have, the friends that support me, the education I'm offered and the opportunity to grow.   I would never jeoperdize that, ever.

Secondly, as mentioned before, my dad committed suicide when I was young.  I'm still extrememly angry and hurt by it, even after 18 years.  I think it's a cop out.  I think it's selfish.  I think it's incredibly insulting to the ones you leave behind.  I feel like what he left behind wasn't worth anything to him, he didn't care.  He thought dying would be more beneficial that seeing his own children grow and mature.  He thought leaving and running was a better alternative than living.

Suicide is frustrating to me.
It's something I will never understand.
It's something I will never accept.
It's something that I will never be okay with.
Ever.

2 comments:

Shay said...

I completely agree. My (step) uncle, shot himself about three years ago in the middle of a fight with his wife. We all know it was in the heat of the moment...I honestly don't think he meant for it to actually happen. But it did. And now he has two small children that have to live with it for the rest of their lives. His daughter (she was 3 or 4 at the time) sang "I am a child of God" at his funeral, and everyone in the chapel fell apart. I could never do that to my children. It is honestly the most selfish thing that you could ever do.

Estelle said...

I was going to skip the *Day 5* post but did it anyway.
Hope it doesn't change the way you see me. :-/